Reno and Rude's IM sessions
by Mistbender
Summary: After a hard day of work, you know they gotta have some interesting conversations. M for strong language and strong yaoi hints not Reno/Rude - Runo and Rudlena instead
1. After Advent Children

**Reno and Rude on some IMs  
**you can think of these as any program you want, I don't care.

**The spelling and grammar, much like on any IM record, is terrible. I did this in realtime on an IM program with my friend Marleh . . . she's Rude to my Reno. And NO, there is absolutely NOT going to be any Rude/Reno yaoi here. We're Runo supporters (Rufus/Reno or vice versa)**  
This is just the first night of IMing . . . and by far the longest. There will be more chapters, with more nights of IM chats.

Due to issues with asterisks, I'm putting the actions in **_bold italics. _**regular italics are emphasis in phrasing  
feel free to help me find any that I missed

* * *

Reno says: remind me never to pick up struggling kids when running from Bahamut . . . I don't wanna have fingers in my sinuses  
Rude says: ok...though I'd probably be massaging my broken nose you whapped earlier  
Reno says: you saw that thing, you wanna stay and fight that, or complain about an emr to the nose?  
Rude says: I think I'll just pick the kids up  
Rude says: and run my ass outta there  
Reno says: at least you didn't get fingers in your sinuses  
Rude says: that's your own fault. you've never been good with the midgets  
Reno says: well you aren't exactly the best cushion to fall on either  
Rude says: at least you didn't get knocked on the head with a fucking sign..**_fake anger_** lol  
Reno says: yeah, but you got a stronger skull than I do  
Rude says: aalllll because of you  
Reno says: hey, at least all those knocks to the head are helping you  
Rude says: hmph. and all of the knocks to your head are only making you worse  
Reno says: could be them, could be the liquor  
Rude says: and the smokes  
Reno says: that too  
Rude says: told yah it would get to yah  
Reno says: that you did. plus there's other things contributing to my soft head  
Rude says: do tell  
Reno says: if you ain't been in a private meeting with the boss, you don't need to know  
Reno says: I lost track of how many I've been in  
Rude says: oh good lord.  
Reno says: what? **_grins_**  
Rude says: now I remember.  
Reno says: remember what?  
Rude says: what you told me _in detail_ about your little..._meetings_ with the boss  
Reno says: did I? I must've been drunk  
Rude says: no...you were bored  
Reno says: hmm, I don't remember that. I musta drank it away then  
Rude says: obviously **_snorts_**  
Reno says: for such a quiet guy, you're one helluva smartass  
Rude says: it's amazing what you can learn about people  
Reno says: oh really, do tell  
Reno says: who you got dirt on?  
Rude says: ask and you might receive partner  
Reno says: what'cha learned about . . . oh, let's start with Tseng  
Rude says: hm. lessee. he's a lighty when it comes to booze. I saw him get drunk on just a couple shots of vodka  
Reno says: aw shit. I should bet him on drinking 'im under the table then  
Rude says: he's sucks at gambling too. that's why he stays out of our bets  
Reno says: damn . . . so he's no fun for a reason then  
Rude says: exactly...just never play chess or anything like that against him;  
Reno says: so nothin' with a brain against the geek, gotcha  
Rude says: yup.  
Reno says: I thought he was just an uptight workaholic before, now he's a geek too. that's sad. Funny, but sad  
Rude says: you forget he's kicked your ass at hand to hand combat too  
Reno says: yeah, but I'm used to that shit. he ain't ran with me before so I can't knock him on his head as much  
Rude says: yea...I think that's the reason Rufus put me with you  
Reno says: speaking of, you got anything on him that I don't know yet?  
Rude says: Probably not.  
Reno says: you ever keep track of them meetings? since I forgot how many I've been to, I should probably put a number to it  
Rude says: you've been there...from the entire time you've been a Turk..counts like...over 100 times?  
Reno says: thought it'd be a pretty high number. just can't get enough of me  
Reno says: hehehe  
Reno says: so what'cha got on Elena?  
Rude says: she's half lezz  
Reno says: that ain't no surprise. who she after? Tifa?  
Rude says: dunno who. but she's got the hots for some chick  
Reno says: maybe she should get that chick and do a three way with Tseng, loosen him up a bit  
Rude says: my thoughts exactly  
Reno says: we should find out who and lock the three of them in an office sometime  
Rude says: **_shrugs_** I'd rather be able to work than have to hear them...**_sweatdrops_**  
Reno says: hey, I didn't say stick around for the show, just lock 'em in and leave 'em  
Rude says: this place echoes remember  
Reno says: lock 'em in at closing time, let 'em out the next day  
Reno says: or better yet, over the weekend  
Rude says: that would be interesting to see.  
Reno says: so find out who, and next weekend, we do lockdown on 'em  
Rude says: fo sure. who do you think it is?  
Reno says: I think it's one of the Avalanche chicks, either Tifa or Yuffie  
Rude says: I'm thinking Yuffie. what about you?  
Reno says: I gotta go Tifa . . . for some reason, I see Elena all droolin' over her fighting skills and that rack of hers  
Rude says: true true...I dunno why. but I gotta feeling Cloud's got the hots for Yuffie  
Reno says: Cloud? probably, if he's tired of being ass-pirated by Sephiroth  
Rude says: yeah. snorts and the vampire/experiment/guy is getting ass raped by that pilot  
Reno says: probably. and you know the gundude wants to be bent over by Cloud all the time  
Rude says: but I haven't seen that happening  
Reno says: nah, Cloud ain't givin' him what he wants. he'd probably take the short haired dude you fought while I was busy with the girly haired dude  
Rude says: eww  
Reno says: hey, I don't care 'bout who wants what in their ass, outside of bossman  
Rude says: I was wondering who was bending over who  
Reno says: I'd prolly be cut off if this got out though . . . you know he'd hate anyone knowing that he lets someone else have control  
Rude says: no shit. but you cant control what happens in the bedroom  
Reno says: nope, that's for damn sure. that's why I've had to start a collection of emrs, instead of just one  
Rude says: ...do I want to know what you've been doing with those?  
Reno says: not the ones I take to the meetings. I keep them separate from my battle emrs  
Rude says: oh good god..._**shakes head**_  
Reno says: like you said, can't control what happens in the bedroom  
Rude says: indeed...but you can prepare  
Reno says: which I do now. I know that sounds like an oxymoron, prepared Reno. it sounds weird to me too  
Rude says: it sounds almost impossible  
Reno says: yup, really fucking improbable, ain't it?  
Rude says: no fucking shit lol  
Rude says: how many 'emr's do you have now Reno  
Reno says: of which type? or do you mean altogether?  
Rude says: just gimme the numbers  
Reno says: lesse . . . I got 8 meeting emrs and 15 battle emrs  
Reno says: I keep more battle ones in case I get 'emergency meetings' after a battle  
Rude says: good lord...**_headdesk_**  
Reno says: whut? I ain't got control over when the bossman calls me in  
Rude says: suuure. more control than the rest of us  
Reno says: I may call the shots, but he calls the meetings.  
Rude says: yeah. and he gets pissy if you miss one of them  
Reno says: hell yeah, bossman's spoiled, but I don't mind spoilin' him more  
Rude says: **_sigh_** and he seems to spoil you right back  
Reno says: what, the bottles of fancy bourbon and cigars I get? I'm just as fine with regular stuff  
Rude says: ...yeah right  
Reno says: really, ain't no big deal. best gifts I get from him are in the meetings  
Rude says: **_snorts_** you act as if your sniffin meth after those _meetings_  
Reno says: there a reason I shouldn't be happy?  
Rude says: no...I'm just sayin  
Reno says: if ya only knew . . . there's some stuff I'm sure I ain't shared yet that bossman does damn well  
Rude says: I don't think I want to know  
Reno says: yeah, that'd be . . . y'know, kinda odd for ya  
Reno says: 'specially in board meetings  
Rude says: yeaaah...sometimes I'm glad to be single;  
Reno says: heh, I think you'd benefit from havin' someone around ya  
Rude says: like who? and you better not try to play matchmaker again  
Reno says: nah, I don't need ta tell ya who to date. just someone  
Rude says: ...**_has no idea_**  
Reno says: maybe someone to rub them knots outta your head that I keep givin' ya  
Rude says: they rub themselves out just fine  
Reno says: what, you don't like people touchin' your head?  
Rude says: I still don't think I need someone  
Reno says: maybe not need, but nothin' wrong with wantin'  
Rude says: ...**_blank stare_**  
Reno says: I'm sure Cloud don't _need_ Sephiroth, but he sure as hell wants him, for an example  
Rude says: **_shrugs_** don't want or need...and especially don't want _you_ lecturing me  
Reno says: hey, I ain't tellin' ya what to do, just making suggestions. I didn't think I wanted or needed anyone 'til that first meeting  
Rude says: meh. well...that's you...besides. I don't think I have time for anyone. at least Rufus is apart of SHINRA  
Reno says: alright, I'mma let it go then. oh yeah, I forgot, I still owe you a pair of shades again, don't I?  
Reno says: you need some tougher shades, I keep breakin' 'em  
Rude says: no. it's just your heavy ass feet keep steppin on them cuz you don't look where your goin  
Reno says: dude, if I didn't keep falling from high ass places or flyin' through the air, I'd be able to look where I'm goin'  
Rude says: your a Turk. you should be able to see where your going  
Reno says: so you were able to see where you were goin' when that silver haired punk punched me into you and we both went flyin?  
Rude says: yes. we were going backwards dumbass  
Reno says: oh so you have eyes in back of your head then  
Rude says: no. I just have a sense of direction smirk  
Reno says: how d'ya know that you weren't about to hit a building then?  
Rude says: because we were in the middle of the street. use the brain cells the booze hasn't killed yet  
Reno says: more like a sidewalk . . . if you remember. the road was to the side of us, with all them people running in it  
Reno says: and there was the motorcycles we coulda hit  
Rude says: the only buildings were still either in front of us or to the side of us  
Reno says: doesn't account for the motorcycles still, but then if you're gonna stick with streets, there coulda been parked cars  
Rude says: there were no cars last I remember  
Reno says: doesn't mean there wasn't a possibility they coulda been there  
Reno says: 'specially with people panicking and abandoning shit  
Rude says: your using what ifs. I'm using memory. your not gonna win this argument Reno  
Reno says: shit, I'm almost sounding prepared again . . . I gotta stop doin' that  
Rude says: Rufus is having a good effect on you **_grinz_**  
Reno says: he likes me being a random lazy slob though . . . that's why I gotta stop  
Rude says: heh  
Reno says: what'cha laughin' about?  
Rude says: the fact that he likes you being a slob but is getting you used to being prepared. its ironic  
Reno says: gotta keep the bossman happy . . . besides, you seen his dad, what better way to prove he ain't his pops?  
Rude says: I couldn't stand that old man  
Reno says: none of us could. 'cept maybe Tseng . . . I wouldn't be surprised if there was more than one reason he'd hired the geek  
Rude says: freaking pedo...I swear  
Reno says: no shit. I've been told some fucked up tales of that ass  
Rude says: same  
Reno says: you heard the one about the day Tseng was hired? that one's really fucked up  
Rude says: I dunno if I've heard that one. what happened  
Reno says: well, I heard about it from bossman . . . it was a lot longer ago than Tseng would tell ya. Rufus was only like, 12, and he was sent off to one of the other houses the day this scraggly little black haired boy showed up on the front step.  
Reno says: there was somethin' he did not need ta see in his pop's eyes . . . thinkin' back on it, he recognizes it now, but had no clue at that age  
Rude says: what did he see?  
Rude says: don't tell me he!  
Reno says: you seen how I look when bossman calls me in . . .  
Rude says: oh my god...no wonder Tseng acts like he has a stick up his ass  
Reno says: no shit. probably pissed as hell that bossman's pops is gone  
Rude says: oh relieved as hell and just doesn't want it happening again. maybe that's why he's protective of Rufus  
Reno says: could be . . . but bossman did get some long breaks from the house his pops was in at the time . . . I don't even wanna know after that much information  
Rude says: I'm sorry you do  
Reno says: nah, it's cool, but serious, we gotta get that lockdown for Elena, Tseng, and Elena's girlycrush goin' soon . . . I'd tell Tseng that I can watch over bossman, but he wouldn't believe me, and even if I insisted, he'd wanna know why  
Rude says: yeah...maybe I can think up something  
Rude says: or get Rufus in on it  
Reno says: you'd do better than me on thinkin' . . . for getting bossman in, I'm sure I could handle that much . . . **_grins_**  
Rude says: no...he might be able to get Tseng to do what we need him to do  
Reno says: true. if Tseng listens to anyone, it's bossman. he'd be instantly suspicious of me  
Reno says: I know he don't trust me  
Rude says: and he's suspicious of me if your involved  
Reno says: as always  
Rude says: duh  
Reno says: I'm instant suspicion in a messy suit  
Reno says: well, to him  
Rude says: messy suit with constant sex hair geeze  
Reno says: hey, I at least brush it  
Rude says: suuuuure  
Reno says: my tail's not a dreadlock yet, is it?  
Rude says: ...almost  
Reno says: there was a meeting just before I got here . . . didn't have time to clean up.  
Reno says: why do you think I'm in such a good mood?  
Rude says: **_sigh_** these meetings are getting more and more frequent  
Reno says: bossman's insatiable sometimes. so? I notice you aren't commenting on the length of them  
Rude says: cuz it gives me peace and quiet for a while  
Reno says: yeah . . . quite a while . . . hehehe  
Rude says: indeed  
Reno says: ya know . . . I prolly shouldn't even say this, but most of the time we ain't even doin' 'stuff'  
Rude says: really  
Reno says: yeah  
Reno says: heheh, put it this way, it ain't so much a want thing anymore  
Rude says: I can tell  
Reno says: oh yeah?  
Rude says: you two seem to have your way of being 'cozy' out of his office too. and I can tell its more than physical  
Reno says: oh do tell . . . and has anyone else noticed?  
Rude says: I think 'Lena's catching on but Tseng's in his own world most of the time so I don't think he knows  
Reno says: damn. I'm gonna hafta make sure she don't say nothin'  
Rude says: she already came to me and I talked to her don't worry partner  
Reno says: alright, cool  
Reno says: so what are these 'cozy' things we're doing?  
Rude says: barely noticeable things. smiles, 'secret' holding hands. I've caught you two snuggling in the hallway once. but I ducked away before I got caught  
Reno says: so you'd have to be hella slick to catch them, huh?  
Rude says: I've worked with you for god knows how many years and I'm the observant type. what do you expect  
Reno says: well yeah, I figure if anyone woulda known first without me or bossman sayin' anything, it woulda been you  
Rude says: heh. and you were right. but Elena's thinking it's the cutest thing ever since she's caught a few things too  
Reno says: we're 'cute'?  
Rude says: **_shrugs_** I guess  
Rude says: it might be a girl thing  
Reno says: must be. cuz I sure as hell ain't gonna call any kinda couple cute  
Reno says: hot, maybe, but not cute  
Rude says: even the sickeningly fluffy ones you see **_sarcasm_**  
Reno says: that there would be cavity-inducing. make ya think you're eating pure sugar by the pound  
Reno says: ugh  
Rude says: yuck  
Reno says: only thing 'cute' I see about me and bossman is maybe some of the sounds bossman can make that I ain't gonna go into detail about  
Rude says: please don't  
Reno says: he's got squeaky hiccups though. those are cute  
Rude says: _**snickers**_  
Reno says: what, the thought of squeaky hiccups or me calling 'em cute?  
Rude says: the squeaky hiccups...our boss..lol  
Reno says: maybe sometime I'll record 'em . . . they really are cute  
Rude says: still...the thought of them is funny  
Reno says: yeah, I could see why that'd be funny  
Rude says: **_still snickering then coughs_** what has Rufus been up to lately anyway? none of us have been given missions  
Reno says: planning something big, I dunno what yet  
Rude says: ...should I be worried?  
Reno says: I dunno. I'm wonderin' if I should be worried  
Rude says: ...sometimes you can never tell with him  
Reno says: yeah, he's slick like that. must be something important or somesuch if I don't even know 'bout it  
Rude says: you would know  
Reno says: I know, normally I do, but . . . this time I don't  
Rude says: it's odd. very odd  
Rude says: I'll be right back partner. gotta go have a drink  
Reno says: yeah, wish I knew what exactly was goin' on . . . alright, go get your drink on  
Rude says: I did. heh. it was tasty  
Reno says: oh, here's an idea of what bossman's hiccups sound like. it's someone else, but it sure sounds like his - (link omitted for security reasons)  
Rude says: those are hilariously cute  
Reno says: aren't they? I have to keep from giggling madly when he's got hiccups  
Rude says: lol. your right. it really is cute  
Reno says: let's just hope he doesn't get them suddenly in a board meeting  
Rude says: oh geeze..**_imagines_**  
Reno says: 'Lena would probably do that squealing 'omg how cute!' thing that girls seem to do, and who knows what Tseng would do  
Reno says: I might actually giggle, if that happened  
Rude says: I..would probably feel mortified for poor Rufus  
Reno says: well, it would keep Tseng from realizing if I did start laughing  
Rude says: yup  
Reno says: cuz if he finally catches on . . . I don't wanna know what he'd try to do to me  
Rude says: probably dissect you  
Reno says: then he'd get his ass fired and end up a bum, or somethin' . . . bossman would ream him in the worst way for that  
Rude says: you would think your both protective of each other  
Reno says: . . . sometimes I hate being a redhead **_covers face_**  
Rude says: why?  
Reno says: cuz I blush too damn easily, that's why.  
Rude says: heheh. what happened this time  
Reno says: your comment on us being all protective of each other and shit  
Rude says: it's true  
Reno says: yeah, I know, but that don't mean it ain't gonna make me blush, ya know. kinda blows my rep  
Rude says: what rep  
Reno says: that "love 'em and leave 'em" rep  
Rude says: I know you better than that Reno. I don't think you'll leave Rufus so easily  
Reno says: hell naw I ain't ditchin' bossman . . . I . . . nevermind  
Rude says: what? you love him?  
Reno says: no  
Reno says: . . .  
Reno says: well . . .  
Reno says: maybe . . .  
Rude says: knew it  
Reno says: dude what? how the hell did you know?  
Rude says: I can see it. you forget your my best friend  
Reno says: . . . yeah, well . . . it ain't like it's . . . well . . . I ain't told him that  
Reno says: don't know how he'd take it and all  
Rude says: you will. and I know he feels the same so don't let him go even if he needs time to take it in  
Reno says: he doe . . .? damn. shows how much I pay attention.  
Rude says: no..you're just more paying attention to keeping him happy  
Reno says: yeah . . . that's true. that was kinda the reason I hadn't said nothin' yet . . . didn't think he was quite on the same page  
Rude says: You should try telling him sometime  
Reno says: ah shit . . . I know I'm gonna turn hella red when I do. probably blend in with my tats even  
Rude says: more than likely**_ doesn't care_**  
Reno says: some help you are. any advice, mister observant?  
Rude says: take it slow. just in case is all I can say. don't scare him away  
Reno says: as insistent as he is on seeing me so often, I don't think that's as big a problem as other relationships  
Rude says: just saying. I've seen it happen before, so I was just warning ya  
Reno says: hell, for all I know, this big thing he's planning is gonna be surprise for me. it'd explain why I don't know about it  
Rude says: who knows? **_shrugs_**  
Reno says: if I don't, the only one that would, would be bossman himself  
Rude says: yup  
Reno says: and he ain't tellin' me. makes me kinda nervous, ya know?  
Rude says: it would. with all the stunts he's pulled  
Reno says: yeah. I'm surprised I kept my cool when he dived off that building  
Reno says: I wanted to kill the ass that he was shootin' at  
Rude says: anything connected to Sephiroth is trouble for us  
Reno says: yeah . . . 'specially when it makes Ruphy jump offa buildings  
Rude says: what was that? the second time something like that has happened to him? **_is ignoring nickname_**  
Reno says: yeah. it's really startin' to wear thin . . .  
Rude says: that's what we all get for being apart of SHINRA  
Reno says: true, but it don't mean I gotta like bossman bein' in danger  
Rude says: no one does Reno  
Reno says: I know he can handle, but damn if I don't freak out.  
Rude says: at least Tseng and Elena caught him before he hit the ground  
Reno says: yeah . . . damn lucky they survived. I'da tried to catch him if they didn't  
Rude says: we were over 50 meters away Reno.  
Reno says: doesn't mean I can't try  
Rude says: true  
Reno says: you know if I ever freaked openly about bossman bein' in danger, I'd put Tseng's protectiveness to shame  
Rude says: I've seen you freak out. and you don't put it to shame. you make it non-existent  
Reno says: geek'd probably have a heart attack if he saw it  
Rude says: or have a brain aneurism  
Reno says: his brain'd shut right down. goin' "wtf is Reno doin' freaking out over the boss"  
Rude says: or he'd just go 'OMG. ULTRA-OOC-FREAK **_dies_**'  
Reno says: hell yeah. prolly thinks I barely care about bossman  
Rude says: he thinks all you care about is booze and getting laid. I asked him  
Reno says: that's damn funny. booze and getting laid both come second  
Rude says: in his eyes its first on your list  
Reno says: actually, I should call those like . . . fourth or fifth . . . a lotta my list goes to bossman  
Rude says: I can tell  
Reno says: glad he don't know that though  
Rude says: who? Tseng?  
Reno says: yeah. the way he tries to protect bossman, you'd think he's crushin' on 'im  
Reno says: he better not be  
Rude says: you would think. I think he's got it bad for 'Lena tho...**_grumbles_**  
Reno says: probably. and why ya grumblin?  
Rude says: nothin.  
Reno says: there somethin' you ain't tellin' me?  
Rude says: what do you mean?  
Reno says: buddy? 'sup? I know you don't grumble lightly . . .  
Rude says: it's nothin Reno.  
Reno says: You sure? cuz if there's somethin' wrong, you know I wanna help  
Rude says: ok ok. I got it for 'Lena. happy  
Reno says: hey, I ain't gonna tease you 'bout it. I'd offer help, but ya know, she's kinda suspicious of anything I tell her anyways  
Rude says: that's your fault lol  
Reno says: a few jokes here and there never hurt nobody  
Rude says: and pranks.  
Reno says: them too, but nothing was dangerous  
Rude says: yeah but enough  
Reno says: so maybe that weekend lockdown idea needs a little tweaking . . .  
Rude says: what are you thinking?  
Reno says: well, as much as Tseng needs whatever telephone pole he's got jammed up his ass pulled out . . . I'd rather my buddy be happy  
Rude says: you know she prolly doesn't feel the same and you know it  
Reno says: too bad I screwed up the rapport I usedta have with her . . . I woulda asked discreet-like and shit  
Reno says: you know I can when I put my mind to it  
Rude says: my god. Reno's actually thinking something up...and what do you think you are? a ninja?  
Reno says: hey, I can be slick! just ask bossman. I had to do some fancy footwork 'round him to even get those meetings started  
Rude says: I believe you don't worry  
Reno says: hmmm . . . who else do I know can do this . . . I'd ask Tifa to ask her, but since I think she's got that thing for her, it'd be awkward  
Rude says: very. and Tseng...uhh...no  
Reno says: nah, you and bossman are the only ones left that trust me  
Reno says: gotta go through someone in avalanche  
Rude says: and it would be odd for Boss to ask Elena..I guess I'll have to do it  
Reno says: well, what if I get someone in avalanche to do it, and maybe be all slick . . . oh wait, Yuffie's slick like that . . . she could ask and stuff  
Reno says: she don't always trust me, but she'd help if I said it weren't for me  
Rude says: **_shrugs_** you're obviously the mastermind here. wait...why do I get the feeling someone's reading this over your shoulder? **_sweatdrops_**  
Reno says: what? naw. I ain't got an over the shoulder reader. anyone that would is asleep.  
Rude says: you sure Reno? cuz Rufus seems to like popping up behind you  
Reno says: I'm lookin' at him right now, curled up under the blankets. 'bout as many of them as the layers he wears  
Rude says: **_snorts_** how does he not roast in all of those layers?  
Reno says: I dunno. maybe it's cuz they're white?  
Reno says: well, most of them  
Rude says: **_shrugs_** we may never know  
Reno says: yup. but I'll send off a message to Yuffie sometime, tell her what I need ta know and from who, and that it ain't for me  
Rude says: you don't have to do this  
Reno says: I don't gotta do a lot of stuff, but hey, I like helpin' out my buddy, you know that. consider it a gift for all the times you didn't clock me for whapping you with my emr  
Rude says: heh. thanks. and did you know Tseng sleep walks/talks?  
Reno says: for reals? anything said clearly or somethin?  
Rude says: he just knocked on my door when you sent your last message and started telling me about the 'yodeling cookies' he wanted to catch and make a cake outta them.  
Rude says: I think he forgot to eat before sleeping  
Reno says: dude, that's fuckin' hilarious  
Rude says: I wish I had a camera. heh. he left after that tho  
Reno says: that is just too damn funny. and a vid of it woulda been blackmail gold  
Rude says: I know. but I was too surprised to do anything but look at him  
Reno says: next time, keep a camera by your door or somesuch, cuz that would be too funny to watch  
Rude says: I may just do that  
Reno says: sweet. can't wait to see it, whenever it happens again  
Rude says: lets hope soon heh. what's going on over there?  
Reno says: not a lot . . . bossman might wake up soon, but that's a guess. there is one thing that's kinda odd to me though . . . ya know that place he gets his expensive ass watches from and shit? there's a catalog from them on the table  
Rude says: lol. what's odd about that  
Reno says: it ain't open to no watches  
Rude says: what's it open to  
Reno says: . . . stuff with emeralds and sapphires in it . . . and they go on ya fingers . . .  
Rude says: rings?  
Reno says: yeah . . . didn't wanna say it, cuz . . . ya know . . .  
Rude says: maybe it's a sign  
Reno says: fuck, really? ya think maybe that might have somethin' to do with this big plan and shit?  
Rude says: maybe  
Rude says: xD  
Reno says: hoshit . . . you know if his pops was around, he'd have a fuckin' heart attack if this is what I'm thinkin' it is  
Rude says: you never know till he tells you  
Reno says: yeah. hell, I might have a fuckin' heart attack if it is . . . or faint. and you know I don't do that  
Rude says: if you do and I find out. I will laugh and you know it  
Reno says: yeah  
Reno says: and I won't blame ya  
Rude says: but. I guess you'll see when the time comes. after all I don't think you'll mind wouldja  
Reno says: definitely have to wait and see . . . and minding? **_looks over at Rufus_** nah, I wouldn't mind at all  
Rude says: I think you two will be good for each other  
Reno says: yeah?  
Rude says: yeah  
Rude says: you two really are  
Reno says: huh . . . maybe 'Lena isn't too wrong with her description of 'cute' . . .  
Reno says: and yea, I'm doing that stuck on stupid face that I'm sure you've caught before  
Rude says: you always have that on when you look at Rufus. and what do you mean 'Lena isn't wrong?  
Reno says: I unno, I just think 'cute' is startin' to fit afterall . . . I mean . . . I dunno what I mean, but it just fits somehow  
Rude says: toldja  
Reno says: I don't get it . . . I can see what I mean in my head, but I can't make it into words, and I'm usually pretty good with words . . . barring nasty looking summons  
Rude says: yeah. you were kinda speechless when you saw the Bahamut...before almost whapping me in the face again  
Reno says: you weren't much for spewing out anything more than "hell no", but you don't talk much anyways  
Rude says: no I don't. at least out loud  
Reno says: so nasty looking summons and bossman can make me speechless. I dunno if that should be a compliment or an insult  
Reno says: and yeah, your fingers do a lot of talking on chats  
Rude says: I think ones a compliment to the boss and the others..i have no idea  
Rude says: and I guess I like typing meh  
Reno says: s'ok, everyone talks different, you talk with typing more. **_zones out staring again_**  
Rude says: your really hooked buddy. brb. someone's at my door again.  
Reno says: get the vid cam ready  
Rude says: It wasn't needed  
Reno says: ah, so who was it?  
Rude says: one of the newbies running around. she was lost and knocked on the first door she saw..god...why do we have them around again  
Reno says: cuz we recruited them? damned if I know, ask Tseng. just means more people I gotta keep tryin' ta fool  
Rude says: and more problems for the rest of us. I swear...the girl I was getting off my back I think has a crush on the boss  
Reno says: oh hell no! I will smack her down so hard if she even looks at him sideways  
Rude says: she has...and has been giggling and shit with the rest of his fans...you have some too Reno  
Reno says: what? where? I ain't noticed 'em  
Reno says: they're gonna be hella shocked once bossman says we ain't gotta hide it no more  
Rude says: the boys and girls who always lookit you and say yo so cool and all that shit. I don't know _why_ but some have given me letters to give to you earlier...**_looks at them an cringes_**  
Reno says: oh gods . . . they gotta be real shit if they're the douchebags that think I say yo all the time.  
Rude says: yeaup  
Reno says: think I was fuckin' Raijin with his fuckin "ya know?"s  
Reno says: I'm gonna smack the shit outta him someday for sayin' that so much  
Rude says: I know..preety annoying. I told a couple off for yah. the ones that have tried to talk to you through me since we first saw the douches  
Reno says: thanks buddy. now I just gotta get bossman's fans offa his ass. or would that be my ass now? hehehe  
Rude says: they'll be on your ass trying to do you off when they find out and you know it  
Reno says: yeah, but as I said, once bossman says it's cool, they'd get their heads blown off for tryin'  
Reno says: and I won't be the one holdin' the shotty  
Rude says: yeah. it'll be a sight to see  
Reno says: we'd lose a good half dozen of the noobs before they learn to back off  
Rude says: more than that...there's a good buncha them  
Reno says: damn, how many are there?  
Rude says: I don't think you want to know  
Reno says: shit, we're gonna lose over halfa the noobs, ain't we?  
Rude says: at least almost all the girlies. there's one or two with sense  
Reno says: at least there's that. any dudes I can smack down for the hell of it?  
Rude says: there's a couple who keep giving Rufus the 'look'  
Reno says: ah hell naw, point them out to me and I'll beat 'em down for . . . I unno, lookin' at a coworker in a sexually harassing way or some shit like that  
Reno says: I'll come up with somethin  
Reno says: might not see them for a few days after that  
Rude says: yeah..and there's a couple I'm definitely putting in the infirmary  
Reno says: why? they lookin' at your girl wrong?  
Rude says: worse. they were actually trying to come onto her.  
Reno says: haha . . . they're in for it now  
Rude says: you think? but yeah. you know those two punks, the one with shaggy green-blue hair with a scar on his chin and his little black haired follower? the ones who're worse than you were when we were recruited?  
Reno says: yeah, they the ones hittin' on your girl? or are they the ones gonna die for lookin' at bossman?  
Reno says: I hated them from the start, fuckin' ripoffs  
Rude says: they're the punks going after Rufus. and there's more.  
Reno says: they die tonight  
Rude says: I've heard them whispering about how fun it would be to quote them to 'fuck that little blonde rich boy till he bleeds' then laugh about it  
Rude says: they are not gonna live long I know that  
Reno says: OH FUCK NO!! ain't NOONE threaten MY Rufus like that. where the fuck are they?  
Rude says: I dunno. but if Rufus is with you he's safe.  
Reno says: yeah, I got my eye on him. but the moment I see those fuckin pricks again, they're gonna know why I'm so high up on the roster.  
Reno says: bet they think I'm just some twig they can snap or some shit like that  
Reno says: they'll see  
Rude says: I wanna watch 'em die.  
Reno says: moment you see 'em, let me know, if I find 'em first, I'm gonna prolly call then hang up as I pull 'em off somewhere  
Rude says: kool. but I dunno whose been harassin' 'Lena but it's bad cuz she came crying to me a couple times...you know who the bitches are?  
Reno says: I could always impale them on one of the chopper's rotors then start up the engine . . .  
Rude says: that would be interesting to see.  
Reno says: I seen some jackass with black hair with little braids in it talkin' to her, then there was some ass with that dark kinda nasty looking blond hair harassin' her  
Reno says: you seen 'em before?  
Rude says: yeah..i hate this years rookies  
Reno says: we should just stop recruiting, seriously  
Reno says: if this is what we're gonna get, we're gonna kill off everyone we recruit for lookin at people wrong  
Rude says: but then we need to do something about the body counts on some of the missions  
Reno says: the best of us never die though  
Rude says: true. but I don't wanna be stuck with n00bie jobs all the time  
Reno says: so when we recruit, we check 'em for potential hassle. tell 'em the senior members and bossman are off limits  
Rude says: or just giv'em a week as trial and if their sensible. keep 'em. if we hear something. toss 'em  
Reno says: sounds good to me  
Rude says: same. we should bring that up with boss next group meeting  
Reno says: totally. hey, if there's any dudes not being as threatening to bossman as those pricks, we could test the protectiveness of Tseng . . . tell him the noobs are plotting on bossman  
Rude says: and they actually are. but I think you want 'em first. right?  
Reno says: the two that're plotting harm on bossman, hell yes, but there won't be nothin for Tseng to do to them once I'm done.  
Rude says: we should snoop and see if anyone else is like this and sick Tseng on 'em  
Reno says: yeah, for sure  
Rude says: that'll be amusing to see  
Reno says: anyone actually talkin' about hurting bossman is mine though  
Rude says: yea. I had to tell you they were saying that shit before Rufus actually got hurt  
Reno says: yeah, thanks buddy. they're gonna find themselves in a world of hurt. I do like the chopper idea . . . 'cept maybe I'll impale them up the ass, see how they like it  
Rude says: payback.  
Reno says: it's a bitch  
Rude says: but we love serving it  
Reno says: and it's best served fuckin colder than ice  
Reno says: maybe as they're screaming in pain, just before I start the motor, I'll tell 'em why they're gonna die  
Rude says: dead men tell no tales  
Reno says: damn straight  
Rude says: you ain't straight tho. heh  
Reno says: can't say damn crooked though, cuz that'd just be weird  
Rude says: heh. true that  
Reno says: those boys are gonna wish they never even heard of the Turks once we're done with them  
Rude says: no. their gonna wish they had never even been thought of  
Reno says: true to that too  
Rude says: hm. funny...I haven't seen those 4 all day.  
Reno says: hmmm, we're gonna have ta figure out what they did and where they went  
Rude says: maybe they went on a (hopefully) failed mission and got killed  
Reno says: yeah, but that'd rob me of my fun  
Rude says: it would get rid of them tho  
Reno says: yeah . . . but I'd still have wished I'd gotten rid of them myself  
Reno says: it feels so much nicer to take out revenge on people plotting to harm your one 'n only  
Rude says: eh. what works works. but I gotta agree. it feels better when it's you protecting them  
Reno says: I'm gonna be on the warpath for them tomorrow  
Rude says: I'm just gonna sit back and watch..unless I see those two punks.  
Reno says: then you're gonna let me know and tie 'em up for me?  
Rude says: if it's your duo. sure. if it's those other two punks...you might see blood stains on the walls  
Reno says: and I'll do the same for you, if I see your two  
Rude says: we're gonna have fun tomorrow  
Reno says: oh yes  
Reno says: protecting our people  
Rude says: **_cracks knuckles_** they should know better than to mess with the bosses ace Turks  
Reno says: yup. there's a reason we get to protect bossman and they don't yet  
Rude says: yeap  
Rude says: they're worse than you actually  
Reno says: what, they smokin shit they shouldn't?  
Rude says: they're actually buttin into shit they shouldn't while you were just cocky shit that kept almost getting yourself killed showing off  
Reno says: yeah, but I had full right to be cocky. I got the job done and I made it look good  
Rude says: yeah. you actually did...except for our first partner mission ;  
Reno says: well, can't be perfect all the time. I was still gettin' my style settled  
Rude says: **_snort_** suure  
Reno says: hey, just cuz I wasn't smooth the first partner mission don't mean I ain't now. well, despite the constant blows to your head  
Rude says: ...I'm used to that  
Reno says: yeah, by now, I'm sure. how long we been workin' together?  
Rude says: ...we've been working together for what...8 years? we were both around 16 when we were recruited  
Reno says: yeah, that sounds 'bout right  
Rude says: damn that's a long while  
Reno says: and a lotta head hitting. lol  
Rude says: you think? I'm surprised I'm perfectly healthy considering my head  
Reno says: I'm surprised you still got as much brain as you started with.  
Rude says: I'm surprised you have a brain at all with all the booze you go through  
Reno says: hehehe, Rufus keeps me thinkin' . . . he actually makes sure I keep some sort of brain about me  
Rude says: amazing  
Reno says: hey, you were the one who said we're good for each other  
Rude says: I know. and I still think that  
Reno says: I'm not sure what his benefits are still, but then again, I only worry about his happiness and safety  
Rude says: that's good  
Reno says: so have you noticed anything he's been doin' different?  
Rude says: what do you mean  
Reno says: can ya tell anything that I've influenced him on?  
Rude says: he seems happier  
Rude says: alot happier  
Rude says: less like his father and more...him  
Reno says: yeah? that's one hell of a bonus  
Rude says: you think?  
Reno says: at least I won't ever feel like I'm datin' his pops . . . that would just be . . . ugh. I hated his old man, but he's got me ready to walk on broken glass for him  
Rude says: **_nods_** Rufus...yeah...he seems happier and lot more...should I say...human  
Reno says: you should see him when I'm just visiting . . . he's . . . you would never connect him with bein' like his pops . . .  
Rude says: I believe it  
Reno says: that's kinda why I'm hopin' we can just stroll right outta the closet soon. y'all really should see the real Rufus  
Rude says: that'll be the day Tseng has a heart attack 20 years too soon lol  
Reno says: hell yeah . . . and I want a video camera fuckin' rollin when it happens  
Rude says: Heh. shit  
Reno says: what? somethin' happen?  
Rude says: it's 'Lena  
Reno says: what happened?  
Rude says: she just busted in here cryin' now she's clinging to me...I cant tell what she's sayin  
Reno says: fuck  
Rude says: fuckin' punks...now we know where they've been  
Reno says: yeah. wonder if it's just your two or all four  
Rude says: cant say. she just passed out  
Reno says: cuz I bet my two wouldn't be above doin' somethin to some of us upper Turks  
Rude says: especially if they're a pretty lady.  
Reno says: hell yeah  
Rude says: looks like she got away before they did anything. there's just a bruise on her arm..thats it  
Reno says: the fuck? I just heard some noise outside . . .  
Rude says: the hell? go check it  
Reno says: I dare it to be those fuckers, I just plain fuckin dare it  
Rude says: go check it and tell me what the hell it is  
Reno says: one of the locks was jimmied . . . assholes got away before I could catch 'em  
Rude says: damn. was it just two? or all four  
Reno says: just the two, but I think I saw your two runnin' off down the road  
Rude says: fuckers...I put Elena on my bed so she can rest...but now we know those punks are up to something  
Reno says: yeah, and my two and your two are teamin' up.  
Rude says: damn...what is with those four and blondes?  
Reno says: no shit . . . they're gonna pay for this shit  
Rude says: unless they're also cowards and run away  
Reno says: they ain't gonna get far. we should tell the others that we trust to keep an eye out for 'em, and if they see 'em, hold 'em somewhere for us  
Rude says: we need to tell Tseng something's up with those four. no details. cuz if anyone's got a sharp lookout eyes. it's Tseng  
Reno says: yeah, he'll spot 'em quick  
Reno says: I'd even tell some of the Avalanchers  
Rude says: yeah. Tifa, Vincent and Cloud'll do it. Yuffie might if we ask her  
Reno says: yeah, once again, I'll tell her it ain't exactly for me  
Rude says: or if that don't work. I'll ask her  
Reno says: yeah  
Rude says: I just plan to beat them into mush. what about you  
Reno says: hell, I'll just tell her they're fuckin' with 'Lena, and we wanna deal with 'em  
Reno says: beat 'em, torture 'em, then set 'em to the chopper. I love that plan  
Rude says: I'll beat them, then maybe light them on fire.  
Reno says: hehehe, that's a good one  
Reno says: hey, the chopper's got 4 rotors, if you want in on the idea  
Rude says: sure...and make it a 'fatal mission'  
Reno says: of course  
Rude says: yes...no one needs to know.  
Reno says: and if Tseng even asks where they went, I'll tell him they went on a mission and didn't come back  
Rude says: since we have access to the mission files  
Reno says: yup. we'll find one that's perfect  
Rude says: and make sure they fail on the way back  
Reno says: yup. I can't wait to get ahold of these motherfuckers now, this is gonna be fun, partner  
Rude says: sure is...it'll be flashy and I know you love that  
Reno says: of course  
Rude says: I just hope we get ahold of those freaks before they hurt 'em  
Rude says: **_looks at Elena_**  
Reno says: ain't noone hurtin' Rufus on my watch, and that's a 24 hour watch I got on him. I'd suggest you do the same with 'Lena  
Rude says: already working on it  
Reno says: good thing. bet she'd appreciate you ridin' to the rescue too  
Reno says: or maybe she wanted you to in the first place  
Rude says: heh. probably. though I ain't no knight in shining armor partner  
Reno says: nah, but you're big and bad and you'll knock them punks down  
Rude says: with ease. unless they're fast slippery punks like you then they're harder to hit  
Reno says: that's why you got the original fast slippery punk to chase 'em down  
Rude says: no shit. **_smirks_** that's why we're a team  
Reno says: and we're a damn good team at that  
Rude says: the best  
Reno says: which is why those punks are gonna wish they'd never crossed us  
Reno says: while they can wish  
Rude says: while they can even breathe.  
Reno says: I just wish I had an emr that I'd just throw away afterwards . . . do somethin' like to them what they planned to do to bossman, but with a shocking surprise  
Rude says: now that's what I call Reno-Payback  
Reno says: think I should sacrifice one of my emrs for that? might be worth it  
Rude says: yeah. I think it's worth it  
Reno says: good, I'll use one of the longer ones  
Rude says: good idea  
Reno says: they wanna make my bossman bleed, they don't know the meaning of the word  
Rude says: they're n00bies. what do you expect?  
Reno says: true, but they also fucked with the wrong team  
Rude says: I don't think they've heard the horror stories about us yet  
Reno says: they will become our worst horror story though . . . especially with the emr and chopper torture  
Rude says: hell yeah. I'll take my old spiked brass knuckles out too just for fun  
Reno says: ah, I've missed those  
Rude says: haven't used them in a while  
Reno says: I think it's good cause to bring them outta retirement  
Rude says: I agree highly  
Reno says: 'specially after seein' that bruise on 'Lena?  
Rude says: hell yes. wait. Reno. you in your room or Rufus's  
Reno says: I'm still in Rufus' - I ain't leavin' his side since I heard that noise  
Rude says: I'm hearing something too...but it sounds like it's at your door. since we're right next to each other  
Reno says: shit. know what? I'm gonna sit right here with the shotty in my lap. let 'em think they can get in. once they're in . . . I get to play  
Rude says: I'm gonna check it out  
Reno says: thanks buddy  
Rude says: I caught a couple rats...**_smirk_** and your specific two and tied up and knocked out for your playing pleasure in front of your room  
Reno says: oh goodie  
Reno says: you get yours too, or was it just mine?  
Rude says: the other two weren't there. just yours  
Reno says: now to get that one very long emr I been saving . . .  
Rude says: have fun  
Reno says: oh, I will  
Reno says: just, make sure noone gets too curious as to the inevitable screaming  
Rude says: there's many reasons the Turk's bedrooms are soundproof  
Reno says: true  
Reno says: but the question is, will it be soundproof enough for what I'm about to do to them?  
Rude says: ducktape?  
Reno says: true, and maybe some old socks that I haven't yet tossed  
Rude says: lovely. you still keep those things around?  
Reno says: not usually, but I forgot about this one pair  
Rude says: luckily for you  
Reno says: oh yes, let 'em choke on the grunge of the person they wanted to replace  
Rude says: sounds hilarious  
Reno says: oh yes  
Rude says: video tape it if you want  
Reno says: of course I will. and I'm gonna explain to the camera their crime, and so on. perhaps I'll show it to bossman if he really wants to know. hehehe  
Rude says: only if he REALLY wants to know. now go kill 'em  
Reno says: oh, I've been toyin' with them this whole time. Rufus got me some voice recognition software that'll type what I say  
Rude says: niiiiice. that's helpful  
Reno says: oh yeah. good thing I gagged 'em though . . . don't need the voice recog pickin' up on that  
Rude says: no...be a bit too many capitals.  
Reno says: yeah, lotsa a's too, and prolly some "ohfuckingodsomeonehelpus"es  
Rude says: **_snort_** at least Rufus is safe. I just sent a couple of the sensible rookies to watch his door and let no one but you enter  
Reno says: good. if anything sounds funny, wake up the geek. I know Rufus is safe with him around  
Rude says: I will don't worry. and 'Lena's safe too  
Reno says: I know she's safe, she's with you  
Rude says: **_snort_** she sleep-mumbles  
Reno says: wonder if she'd start talkin' . . .  
Rude says: no she just went quiet  
Reno says: aww, that woulda solved the problem right there  
Reno says: some of the sleep talker types 'll hold a convo in their sleep  
Rude says: I know. but I think I'll wait till she's awake  
Reno says: what, gonna ask her why she chose to run to you?  
Rude says: and what the hell those bastards did this time...what are you doing to 'em now?  
Reno says: heh, they're gettin some sense knocked into their heads . . . via one of my other emrs  
Reno says: the blue haired punk has the long ass one stuck in him, and it's triggering every time he moves  
Reno says: he's findin' it hard to keep still with me beatin' him in the head  
Rude says: and I bet he's twitching every 5 seconds. nice  
Reno says: I bet if I ungagged him, not even the soundproofing would contain his screams  
Rude says: nope  
Reno says: man this is fun hehehehe  
Rude says: I bet it is.  
Reno says: damn, the blue haired one passed out. time to work over his buddy  
Rude says: rookies have no stamina shakes head in shame  
Reno says: well, whaddya expect? we didn't start out as good as we are now  
Rude says: yeah. but rookies are becoming wimps...way worse than us and 'Lena  
Reno says: yeah, we at least had somethin' to start with. oh man, little black haired fucker's cryin'  
Rude says: my god.  
Reno says: hahah, that's fuckin dumb, who found this loser?  
Reno says: sure as hell ain't onea mine  
Rude says: ...I dunno..he mighta been in the big group that a found at once  
Reno says: oh, the mini-gang? yeah, possibly. he was probably new to the gang too  
Rude says: more than likely  
Reno says: talks big, whines like a baby  
Reno says: these noobs are an embarrassment to the Turks  
Rude says: honestly.  
Reno says: shit, if I end up trainin' any of 'em, I'm just gonna see how long each of them can hold out under my emr . . . anyone as weak as these guys automatically get tossed  
Rude says: shit. you would think  
Reno says: we should just toss that whole mini-gang, if this is what we're looking at  
Rude says: SHINRA must be getting desperate  
Reno says: I'll talk with bossman about it . . . he should know what's goin' on with the recruitment  
Rude says: yeah...and should hear about all the harassment going on too  
Reno says: hell yeah. and no way am I gonna let some punk think they gotta chance at Rufus. nor should they think that 'Lena's anything more than a superior Turk  
Rude says: you got that right partner  
Reno says: yeah, the other one passed out now too. funny that he lasted a bit longer than his buddy  
Reno says: when they wake up, it's choppertime  
Rude says: Yay. heh  
Reno says: you gonna come watch?  
Rude says: no shit  
Reno says: hehe, I'll come knock when they wake up. I'll need a hand carryin' the brats  
Reno says: hell, fuck carryin' 'em, we can drag 'em  
Rude says: they'll live. tho not for long  
Reno says: they'll live until they get stuck on that rotor blade  
Rude says: heh. watch'em try to scream. maybe we'll find the other two before that  
Reno says: oh that'd be nice, have a four-jerk pinwheel  
Rude says: that's one problem solved  
Reno says: yup. I bet with the sound of the chopper startin' up, some of the noobs'll come out wondering what the fuck's goin' on  
Rude says: yes. it'll be a lesson on why you don't fucking piss us off  
Reno says: and if they stare too long, we just get to tell them that these fuckers messed with bossman and 'Lena . . . I think that'll get a good point across  
Reno says: might even scare away some of the ones tryin' to grab a piece of me  
Rude says: I agree. that'll grab attention and stick in your memory  
Reno says: hehe, can't wait to see the looks on their faces  
Reno says: if anyone ever mistook me for a nice guy, they won't after that  
Rude says: bring a camera  
Reno says: video and stillshot, you take one, I'll take the other?  
Rude says: Yeah  
Reno says: which one ya want?  
Rude says: I'll do video  
Reno says: cool. good thing I get to play with all these nice goodies that Rufus has . . . his digital camera is awesome  
Rude says: latest model?  
Reno says: of course. he always gets the latest toys  
Rude says: why am I not surprised  
Reno says: cuz he can afford them?  
Rude says: and he seems to like them too  
Reno says: yeah . . . for many reasons  
Rude says: I don't want to know do I  
Reno says: nah, that's one of them confidential things  
Rude says: yeah. I totally don't wanna know  
Reno says: I think I'll hang these clowns from some of the hooks in my room and go back to Rufus. good thing I got a laptop  
Rude says: yeah. you do that cuz I haven't heard anything from the rookies I sent to Rufus' room  
Reno says: hmm, they're just sittin' against the wall, half asleep . . . good thing the door was still locked  
Rude says: yeah...at least Rufus is safe  
Reno says: yeah. I prodded them with my emr to make sure they don't make that mistake again. when guarding the bossman, you do NOT fall asleep  
Rude says: no...or you kick their ass  
Reno says: yup. only I'm allowed to sleep on Rufus watch . . . mostly because I'm right next to him  
Rude says: **_nods_** which is even better...for you  
Reno says: yup. that's why I'm better at guarding bossman than Tseng is, or even knows about. I bet he's stood guard on the door while I was sleepin' next to Rufus at times  
Rude says: I think he has and so have I  
Reno says: yeah, but you wouldn't have died of a heart attack if you had to enter the room  
Rude says: yeah I probably would've just shook my head went back out  
Reno says: 'course, I tend to wake up the second the door is opened, so I woulda just said "I got this" no matter who opened it  
Rude says: **_nodds_** you did that once when I had to walk in  
Reno says: good thing Tseng never had to, or I woulda got yelled at, dragged out, so on and so forth, which woulda woke up bossman, and gotten Tseng heavily demoted  
Rude says: yes. and then we woulda had to deal with emo-Tseng  
Reno says: which I would probably have gone to him and said "you shoulda just listened to me and left . . . smart thing to do"  
Rude says: very smart indeed. poor Tseng if he didn't listen  
Reno says: yup, I just hope he don't have a cow when he does find out. that alone might lose him some points with the bossman  
Rude says: he'd have a cow about anything related to the boss  
Reno says: that's why I'm leavin' it to the bossman to let it out. trust me, I'd love to brag all night long  
Rude says: I know you would  
Reno says: what can I say? it ain't everyone gets to be as close to their superior as I am  
Rude says: feh. shush. lol  
Reno says: can't help it, you know I'm a cocky bastard  
Rude says: yes you are. it's your nature  
Reno says: maybe that's why Rufus was first attracted to me?  
Rude says: maybe..I dunno. I ain't cupid  
Reno says: ain't that the truth. you get hella shy when it comes to tellin' someone you like 'em  
Reno says: not that I can talk . . . I can only outright tell Rufus I love him when he's sleepin' so far  
Rude says: not shy. just uncomfortable  
Rude says: at least you can say it at all  
Reno says: it'd be pretty awkward if I said it when I thought he was asleep but he wasn't . . . I don't think there's a name for the shade of red my face would turn  
Rude says: vermillion-crimson  
Reno says: na, I think it'd go into like, mega-infrared kinda red  
Reno says: highlighters wouldn't come in that color  
Reno says: neon wouldn't come in that color  
Rude says: your hair can't come in that color?  
Reno says: nope  
Reno says: it'd be brighter than Rudolph's fuckin' nose  
Rude says: **_snorts_** heh. that's your problem  
Rude says: brb. gonna go see what _this_ noise is about  
Reno says: why'd I fuckin' have to be a redhead?  
oh, maybe it's your punks . . . you could rough 'em up some  
Rude says: tonight's our lucky night Reno.  
Reno says: you got your punks?  
Rude says: and beat them bloody  
Reno says: sweet  
Rude says: it was  
Reno says: get some good satisfaction outta that?  
Rude says: you know it partner  
Reno says: now if mine'd just wake the fuck up, we can have fun with the chopper and scare the shit outta the other noobs that wanna cross us upper Turks  
Rude says: we may have to wait till morning  
Reno says: yeah, I don't think they're recovering any time soon  
Reno says: what about yours? they even awake?  
Rude says: I'm not sure if they're even actually alive.  
Rude says: more like vegetables  
Reno says: heh, guess that should show somethin' about your protectiveness of 'Lena  
Rude says: and the fact that those brass knuckles aren't quite in retirement yet  
Reno says: that too. hell, if I were her, I'd be impressed. but I ain't, I'm me, and I got bossman  
Rude says: yeah. and you two are happy and cozy as love bugs  
Reno says: yup. we don't need anyone else in our happy little kindafamily.  
Rude says: heh. wonder if Rufus will ever bring up adoption  
Reno says: hmm, I dunno. I just hope it ain't the kid who tried to pull my sinuses out my nose  
Rude says: your the one who grabbed him **_snorts amusedly_**  
Reno says: you think I wanna see some kid roasted by flare?  
Rude says: no. but still  
Reno says: there was a better way to do it?  
Rude says: throw him over your shoulder instead of grabbing him by the waist  
Reno says: good point. didn't have time to think about it though  
Rude says: you never have time to actually think  
Reno says: I'm gettin' better at that  
Rude says: sure yah are  
Reno says: hey, I at least thought enough to make sure I had my longest emr available at all times  
Rude says: you always have that thing ready  
Reno says: not the longest one, that one I use only on important missions. I gotta get it replaced now  
Rude says: no shit  
Reno says: too much shit. they both crapped all over it. pissed me off  
Rude says: eww  
Reno says: I would say I mighta been too hard on them, if they weren't plotting to brutally rape the bossman  
Rude says: they deserved it  
Reno says: hell yeah  
Rude says: that's a no-brainer  
Reno says: just like the punks that are all kindsa black and blue and bloody wherever you deposited them deserved what they got  
Rude says: there's rarely anyone that we beat down that doesn't deserve it  
Reno says: so true. and depending on the crime, they get it that much worse  
Rude says: like I said. you reap what you sow  
Reno says: and the last people you wanna fuck with, is the people we care most about  
Rude says: **_nods_** cuz that's when we get pissed  
Reno says: and pissing us off is the worst idea anyone could have  
Rude says: pissing any of the aces or their boss is bad news  
Reno says: yup, especially the ones that got someone. Piss off bossman, you get me pissed off too. Piss of 'Lena, they gotta deal with you too  
Rude says: and piss of Tseng? well..it was nice knowing you when you had an ass  
Reno says: hell yeah  
Reno says: there just is no gettin' 'round us if you piss us off  
Rude says: nope. we're the definition of Turks  
Reno says: these noobs should be lookin' up to us and askin' us for advice, instead of fuckin' with us  
Rude says: but there are so few sensible ones these days. ah. 'Lena's waking up  
Reno says: oh good  
Rude says: she said she was walkin down to her room and a those punks grabbed her and threw her against a wall...but she ran off before they could do anything else...too bad there's barely anything left to crush outta them.  
Reno says: yup, and tomorrow they get to go for the last spin they'll ever go on  
Rude says: **_cracks knuckles_** you bet. anything you want me to tell 'Lena  
Reno says: yeah, let her know if anything else happens, we'll be glad to take care of it. permanently.  
Rude says: I told her and she said Thanks Reno  
Reno says: no problem, she should see what's left of the asswipes that threatened bossman  
Rude says: don't wanna scar her too much. if she wants we can show her  
Reno says: true on that one. speaking of people being awake . . .  
Rude says: Boss awake?  
Reno says: yup  
Rude says: yo Boss!  
Reno says: he says "Hello Rude. And how much do you know"  
Reno says: I tried not to laugh  
Rude says: I know enough...and I know to keep my mouth shut sir don't worry  
Reno says: he asked me if there's anyone that didn't know yet. I don't think my answer made him very happy . . .  
Rude says: what did you say you chocobo?  
Reno says: I ain't gonna lie to him. damn, that'd be fucked up  
Rude says: duh. what did you say tho?  
Reno says: I told him Tseng don't know, pretty much all the noobs don't know, and that's about it.  
Reno says: and that the noobs are getting annoying with their not knowing  
Rude says: so he's unhappy that people know at all?  
Reno says: I think he's more unhappy that there's people getting me upset cuz they don't know  
Rude says: fun.  
Reno says: I ended up telling him about the two jerks that are rotting on hooks in my room  
Rude says: lovely.  
Reno says: he thinks I shoulda just blown their heads off and had done with it  
Reno says: I still like my way better  
Rude says: not as much fun, I agree. and Elena's gone back to sleep. she's not as pale now thank god  
Reno says: that's good. I told him she was attacked too. he wants to know if they're still alive, and if so, why  
Rude says: um...I don't think they are.  
Reno says: I told him you probably beat them back into the lifestream. he smirked and raised an eyebrow at that  
Rude says: you can also tell him that I used the brass knuckles  
Reno says: he laughed and asked me "what is it with you two and blondes'  
Rude says: uh...Reno? how do we answer that?  
Reno says: I think it was a rhetorical question  
Rude says: how so?  
Reno says: I don't think he expected an answer from it  
Rude says: **_shrugs_**  
Reno says: he knows why I'm with him. I think it's just news to him that you're so_ very_ protective of 'Lena  
Rude says: shuddup.  
Reno says: I didn't tell him one thing about it. he figured that out on his own  
Rude says: which part  
Reno says: you havin' your thing for 'Lena. I swear, such things never left my lips.  
Rude says: I trust you  
Reno says: he also expects me to type him up a full report on the jerkwads, what was done to them, so on.  
Rude says: have fun **_grin_**  
Reno says: it'd explain why I need another three-foot emr  
Rude says: indeed  
Reno says: and why the noobs need to scrub the chopper  
Rude says: **_snorts_**  
Reno says: and probably the surrounding area  
Rude says: now that I think about it.  
Reno says: what?  
Rude says: poor n00bs..though not really  
Reno says: put some of my fans, bossman's fans, and 'Lena's fans on it. then tell 'em that it's what happens when ya cross the bossman and the ace Turks  
Reno says: didn't catch if you said you had any fans  
Rude says: I dunno if I do  
Reno says: want me to keep an eye out for ya?  
Rude says: I can take care of myself  
Reno says: 'kay. but yeah, the ones who can't get it through their heads, they get chopper duty  
Rude says: fun  
Reno says: especially since they'd be cleaning up pieces of the ones who actually tried to plan something against us  
Rude says: totally..geeze. 'Lena keeps waking up  
Reno says: wonder why  
Rude says: I'm wondering myself.  
Reno says: . . . hehehe. Bossman says sometimes he can't sleep if I ain't there . . .  
Rude says: heh. is that so..shes fallin back asleep  
Reno says: yeah, that's usually the late night meetings I get called in for . . . can't sleep  
Rude says: **_nodds_**  
Reno says: oh man . . . bossman got one helluva sense of humor, ya know . . .  
Rude says: ?  
Reno says: he's sayin' that maybe 'Lena's havin the same problem he does sometimes, and could use a good cuddle  
Rude says: ...we ain't together...ain't right  
Reno says: and I quote "Then someone should stop the rumors that you are. I wonder who started them" with a smirk  
Rude says: Yes I'm wondering who started them.  
Reno says: oh man . . . I think he knows somethin' and tryin' to give you clues. he just went into the closet for some clothes, and said "Gotta keep an eye on us blondes . . ." again with that smirk  
Rude says: boss is the one who started the rumor?  
Reno says: no, he did not, and that got a frown  
Rude says: now I'm confused  
Reno says: damn, I drank my brain practically into oblivion and I already got the clue, you're supposed to be the smart one  
Rude says: I'm too busy worried about 'Lena.  
Reno says: kay, I'll spell it out a bit. the hint was that a blonde started the rumor that you and 'Lena were an item. it wasn't Rufus. what's that leave you with?  
Rude says: **_looks at Elena_** but..why.  
Reno says: you don't know much about girls, do ya?  
the reason any girl starts that kinda rumor is to get the guy in question's attention  
Rude says: oh.  
Reno says: you gettin' it now?  
Rude says: yeah...yeah I am  
Reno says: seriously, what is it with us and blondes? we like 'em, they like us . . .  
Rude says: _**shrugs**_  
Rude says: I have no idea. but I ain't complainin  
Reno says: I bet you're not. I ain't either  
Rude says: no..and _damn_ this woman's strong.  
Reno says: what happened dude?  
Rude says: I got up and touched her to see if she was ok and she pulls me down with her! your so lucky I gotta laptop  
Reno says: hehe, guess bossman knows more about what's goin' on with us than we even think about  
Rude says: why?  
Reno says: hey, he knew who 'Lena was on about before we did, and apparently noone else did either  
Rude says: interesting.  
Reno says: think it's her confiding in him, or are we talkin' more observant than you?  
Rude says: who knows.  
Reno says: "She didn't say a word to me." I just got that whispered in my ear  
Rude says: odd...maybe boss is psychic lol  
Reno says: maybe. I dunno.  
Rude says: I'm gonna get off Reno. 'Lena's not letting me go for a while so I'm gonna grab some shut eye. I'll get on later partner  
Reno says: alright, 'sides, bossman needs some attention too  
Rude says: heh. bye  
Reno says: bye

--

A/N: yeah, I know the spelling and grammar is atrocious, but this is IMing. people usually don't care so much. Besides, it's a collaborative RP with my friend Marleh. We really are doing this over an IM program. I'm Reno, she's Rude.


	2. Second Heads and Laptop Theives

**Reno and Rude on some IMs  
**you can think of these as any program you want, I don't care.

**The spelling and grammar, much like on any IM record, is terrible. I did this in realtime on an IM program with my friend Marleh . . . she's Rude and Elena to my Reno and Rufus. And NO, there is absolutely NOT going to be any Rude/Reno yaoi here. We're Runo supporters (Rufus/Reno or vice versa)**  
This is our second and possibly third night of IMing, I didn't separate them by night. They're all going to be long

Due to issues with asterisks, I'm putting the actions in **_bold italics. _**regular italics are emphasis in phrasing  
feel free to help me find any that I missed

* * *

Rude says: sup partner  
Reno says: 'ey Rude. how's your girl?  
Rude says: she's doing good. she ain't my girl Reno. I think she was embarrassed about last night  
Reno says: could be, but could also be that she wasn't 'xpectin to be so open just yet.  
Rude says: heh. we'll see I guess  
Reno says: ain't that true. I still think you got more of a chance than ya though ya did  
Rude says: I think I'm starting to believe you Reno  
Reno says: 'bout time. hell, you know bossman wouldn't manipulate ya that much, since you're my buddy  
Rude says: heh. you never know. but yeah. I don't think he would really mess with something like this  
Reno says: nah . . . it'd be too screwed up for his tastes. his pops would, which means he wouldn't  
Rude says: thank god for that  
Reno says: yup. I'm damn glad bossman hates his dad that damn much to do the opposite of what he did or would do  
Reno says: woulda done. damn glad he's gone too  
Rude says: everyone is glad that bastard's gone  
Reno says: the fuckin' lifestream's glad that bastard's gone  
Rude says: no...the lifestream hates us for sending him to it  
Reno says: that too.  
Rude says: yup. that chopper trick was fun to watch today  
Reno says: oh hell yes. how many of the noobs we had to get to clean up the mess we made?  
Rude says: a good two dozen or so  
Reno says: hehehe, bet they won't be eyeballin' any of us after that deal  
Rude says: they'll prolly be running from us whenever they see us  
Reno says: good. I don't wanna see anyone tryin' ta jump the ranks through sleepin' with people  
Reno says: that's my trick  
Rude says: heh. but you have the skill to jump ranks anyway  
Reno says: yup. gotta have the right kinda skill and cockiness to do like I do  
Rude says: _**snort**_ no one can outdo you in the cockiness all right  
Rude says: Elena agrees with me  
Reno says: if he was awake, I'm sure bossman would too. he sure sleeps a lot lately  
Rude says: your fault?  
Reno says: prolly. hehehe  
Rude says: Elena snorted and said "more than probably Reno"  
Reno says: hey, as long as dot-head don't find out, I'll be fine  
Rude says: the day he finds out with be very interesting  
Reno says: yup. maybe on that day, I'll fuckin' poke that damn dot in his head like I been wantin' to for years  
Rude says: I'm surprised you haven't yet. you've been absolutely itchin' to do that  
Reno says: I swear, looks like one of them "do not touch" buttons, ya know ya shouldn't, but it's so damn tempting  
Rude says: you made Elena crack up  
Reno says: glad I'm gettin' on her good side again  
Rude says: uh oh...she grinned at the screen at that.._**sweatdrop**_ she just said "did I ever say you were on my bad list"  
Reno says: just as long as I ain't on yer list like I'm on bossman's list. that'd be weird. but yeah, I thought you were all kindsa pissed at me for the pranks and shit, 'Lena  
Elena says: (I stole Rude's laptop) I mighta been pissed. but that didn't mean I was always pissed at you. you're not on my hate list dumbass  
Reno says: good ta hear 'Lena. bad enough dot-head thinks I shoulda been fired a long ass time ago for bein' a drunken sex-craved slob  
Elena says: you _are_ a drunken sex-craving slob. but you do your job. that's why his mighty-dotness hasn't fired you yet  
Reno says: I'm the _bossman's_ drunken sex-craving slob, and that's why I still work here. well, and I'm damn good at what I do. with style  
Elena says: what style.  
Reno says: cocky drunken bastard style  
Elena says: some style...Rude snorted at that  
Reno says: he's got his style too, silent beat your ass style  
Reno says: so do you  
Elena says: what would you name my uh..'style?  
Reno says: shoot first and ask questions later  
Elena says: heh. sounds about right  
Reno says: dothead would be anal geek that'll hand your ass to ya  
Elena says: if there was anything left of your ass  
Reno says: yeah, that's fer sure  
Elena says: Agh! Rude keeps trying to steal the laptop back! no!  
Reno says: LOL, well it is his laptop, but hey, it's fun shootin' the shit with ya again  
Elena says: heh. right back at you Reno. I need to get a laptop...or I could keep stealing Rude's...he looks defeated..lol  
Reno says: poor Rude . . . ya know he'd never actually use any kinda force on ya anyways  
Elena says: huh? whatcha mean?  
Reno says: you know he respects ya right?  
Elena says: yeah...but alot of people do.  
Reno says: just a lotta people don't know what'cha lookin' for, if ya catch my drift.  
Elena says: no I don't catch your drift. I cant understand you like Rude can  
Reno says: 'kay, put it this way, I was lookin' for a powerful blonde dude with eyes like ice. so what you lookin' for?  
Elena says: uhh...a guy who'll protect me...a big dark guy...oh.  
Reno says: you should tell onea them kinda guys. bet they'd love ta protect ya  
Elena says: uhh...are you playing matchmaker today or something?  
Reno says: nah . . . I just know some stuff, is all  
Elena says: weird.  
Reno says: like who started that one rumor . . .  
Reno says: you know the one, 'Lena  
Elena says: shuddup!  
Reno says: I'm surprised you ain't askin' how I know  
Elena says: you're you. that's how you know...you catch every tidbit of gossip around this place  
Reno says: hey, it weren't till last night I found out . . . and I ain't left this room  
Reno says: well, besides the chopper incident  
Elena says: what do you mean?  
Reno says: how observant you think my buddy there is?  
Elena says: very  
Reno says: well . . . put it this way, bossman makes him look oblivious  
Elena says: wow..._**giggles**_  
Elena says: ah shit. his majesty...dot-head is grabbin us for a mission. we'll see you later Reno  
Reno says: seeya 'Lena. let's hope he don't come knockin' on Ruphy's door  
Elena says: I hope so too..though he said he was just grabbing us. Rude says bye  
Reno says: seeya after the mission  
Reno says: have fun  
Elena says: yeah...suuuure...I hope  
Reno says: heh, and tell Rude I said to do that thing he does so damn well.  
Rude says: which thing I do so damn well Reno? There's a couple  
Reno says: that protectin' thing  
Rude says: I did my best..damn my head.  
Reno says: what happened to your head? I thought I was the only one whappin' it  
Rude says: ask 'Lena. I'm giving her the laptop  
Elena says: Hey Reno  
Reno says: hey 'Lena. what happened to Rude's head?  
Reno says: I thought I had the monopoly on whappin' it  
Elena says: motorcycle to the face pretty much.  
Reno says: someone takin' my job on hardenin' his head?  
Elena says: I dunno. but the guys we were trailing jumped onus and the big one threw a motorcycle at our direction and Rude took it...we're in the infirmary...I sortof snuck the laptop in here while the docs were working on Rude  
Reno says: damn. that ain't cool. and I thought my emrs to his head were a pain  
Elena says: at least it's only a concussion and nasty-ass bruise on his noggin  
Reno says: yeah, he'll recover. **_chuckles_** 'specially with the right company  
Elena says: lol. is boss with you?  
Reno says: yeah, we got some noodly stuff  
Elena says: fun..tell him our mission was a success  
Reno says: he nodded with his face fulla food  
Elena says: LOL  
Reno says: totally different person in public  
Elena says: no shit  
Reno says: but I gotta tell ya, some of them noobs lookin at me an him funny, makes me wish we weren't hidin'  
Elena says: at least the worst of them are taken care if. Rude told me about those two  
Reno says: yeah, I got one hella dose of revenge on them two  
Elena says: it's disgusting how immature the rookies are this year  
Reno says: hell yeah, dunno what the other two that got the chopper treatment was plannin', but hearin what the two I dealt with had planned for bossman, you'd know just how much pain I had planned for 'em  
Elena says: I saw the video. I've been going through Rude's media since he told me go ahead  
Reno says: yeah, they were plottin' to rape bossman til' he bled. so I showed 'em how it woulda felt  
Elena says: ouch  
Reno says: did he string in the chopper bit too?  
Elena says: saw the video...eww...I feel sorry for the noobies who had to clean that up  
Reno says: hehehe, but those two ain't touchin bossman, and the two who fucked with you ain't gonna no more  
Elena says: _**sigh**_ kinda impossible when they're dead  
Reno says: should prolly show the other rookies the vid and tell 'em that it's what happens when ya cross the bossman and his personal Turks  
Elena says: touche. lesson in respect, huh  
Reno says: hell yeah  
Reno says: dare 'em to fuck with us after seein' that  
Elena says: it's gonna be interesting when we actually start training them  
Reno says: hell yeah, and I gotta test their stamina better after those other two passed out so quick  
Elena says: what wimps...Rude snorted in agreement..he's reading over my shoulder  
Reno says: anyone passes out that quick'd never be a Turk  
Elena says: even I had more stamina when I first started  
Reno says: hell yeah  
Reno says: and partner, this any worse than some 'o the shit I useta . . . still do to ya?  
Rude says: yeah...you've never thrown a motorcycle twice as big as Cloud's in my face  
Reno says: damn! it was fuckin bigger than that damn beast spiky rides?  
Elena says: rude nodded and fell back on his bed  
Reno says: damn, I feel bad for him now. that can'tve felt nice  
Elena says: no..I don't think it did..;  
Reno says: and here I thought whappin' him when I saw Bahamut was bad  
Reno says: or that sign that fell on him before I did  
Elena says: what did you do?  
Reno says: we were fightin' those Sephiroth knockoffs . . . then the punks ran off  
Elena says: lovely. didn't Rude call that your 'spiderman moment?  
Reno says: yeah, climbin' up walls in half the time it'd take to use an elevator  
Reno says: I am the original slippery fast fuck  
Elena says: you are indeed  
Rufus says: **_clears throat_** fuck, yes, slippery, sure. Fast? never.  
Reno says: ahem, sorry 'bout that . . . I had some extra hands for a bit  
Elena says: was that bossman?  
Reno says: yeah  
Elena says: lol. nice  
Rufus says: **_nudges Reno aside_** and now his face matches his hair. It's . . . cute.  
Elena says: lol. lovely. Reno's a fucking neon beacon. lol  
Rufus says: when hasn't he been?  
Elena says: touche. you could find his hair anywhere  
Rufus says: very true. Although it makes it rather difficult to hide him though  
Elena says: **_nodds_** yes. makes you wonder how he's so fucking sneaky  
Rufus says: perhaps being around me has made him more sneaky, since I've had him hiding  
Elena says: probably  
Elena says: its good practice for him  
Rufus says: yes, it is. It should help him for his missions. However, I'm not sure how much longer I'll keep him hiding us  
Elena says: **_shrugs_** it's getting to be a problem with your...ehem...fans  
Rufus says: so I've heard. He has told me that the video may be easier for explaining the punishment they had earned for plotting against me  
Elena says: have you _seen_ the video sir?  
Rufus says: No, I have not yet. Although I have been informed that he needs yet another three foot Electro-Mag Rod  
Rude says: _**moves Elena's hands**_ let's say its for good reason sir  
Rufus says: Perhaps he's been learning some of the crueler forms of punishment? If he's ruined the other one on them, they must have angered him a lot  
Rude says: they did...**_sweatdrop_** and I brought the old knuckles out for a while on the other two  
Rufus says: another two that are angering my best Turks. Perhaps it would be best to end the silence. Maybe it would prevent further deterioration in the ranks  
Rude says: that's what all three of us agree sir...I'm just afraid of Tseng freaking out  
Rufus says: I will handle Tseng if there are problems. Perhaps he could use a vacation to calm down. I'm well aware of his protectiveness, which Reno puts to shame  
Rude and Elena say: but no one really truly sees Reno's protectiveness over you, except for Elena and me, sir. Elena's stealing my laptop again..._**sweatdrop**_. feh you know how hard it is to get his hands off a keyboard?  
Rufus says: I do not allow him to show it in public yet. Once I do, and the others notice it, perhaps they'll leave me to his quite capable hands.  
I can imagine, Elena. By the way, when were you planning on telling him?  
Elena says: Hopefully sir. and oh. I'm still waiting for him to respond to what I did after the mission was over  
Rufus says: Oh? do tell. I would love to hear this one.  
Rufus says: apparently my newly acquired second head wishes to hear it also  
Elena says: I'm sitting over across from Rude so he can't get the laptop back. lol  
Elena says: after the mission, I thanked him for protecting me all those times and kissed him before the medics came.  
Rufus says: I believe my 'second head' has summed it up best with the hooting of "WHOOO! GO 'LENA" (he insisted it be in all capitals)  
Elena says: that's Reno for you...he's done that to me once...lol  
Rufus says: the 'second head' thing that he seems to be fond of doing with me while I'm on his laptop?  
Elena says: we were on a mission and he was arguing with Tseng on chat and made me type so I had a second head during the time. then he started 'shouting' at Tseng and told me to put it all in capitals  
Rufus says: It would seem he likes to argue with Tseng. grins perhaps he feels threatened by Tseng's protectiveness?  
Elena says: probably. I swear. Tseng acts like a mother hen when your around sir  
Rufus says: yes, it's becoming depressing. One would think I were made of spun glass around him.  
Elena says: who knows? I think he takes his job as a Turk a bit _too_ seriously  
Rufus says: Perhaps. Reno keeps insisting that he'll have a heart attack when he learns of what's been going on under his nose  
Elena says: or start flailing like a scared chocobo.  
Rufus says: and that he plans to "poke ol' dot-head in the dot"  
Elena says: his mighty-dotness? it might be funny to see that  
Rufus says: now that he mentions it . . . that does sound rather fun  
Elena says: I'm starting to think a nice vacation to Costa De Sol or someplace like that would be good for him.  
Rufus says: yes, once he's been made aware that he need not guard me so heavily, and **_laughs_** "been dot-poked"  
Elena says: what do you think?  
Rufus says: Perhaps after the next board meeting, I'll set him on mandatory vacation for a week  
Elena says: good idea sir  
Rufus says: and I believe a feed to the recruits of this board meeting would be in order. As there will be an announcement that will affect many of them. It would be a good time to make any other group announcements you may have  
Elena says: I would ask Rude if he has any ideas but he's asleep  
Rufus says: I highly doubt he'd complain if you wished to state your being "off the market" as Reno calls it.  
Elena says: I just may do that  
Rufus says: It would be something that's been long in coming. I have noticed the way both of you behave around each other for quite a while  
Elena says: what do you mean, boss?  
Rufus says: Come now, Elena, you can't honestly expect me to have not noticed the looks that you give him when he's not looking  
Elena says: eheheh.  
Rufus says: Not to mention the looks he'd given you while your back was turned - and the other men prior to the other two that he'd beaten bloody for calling obscenities at you  
Rufus says: Why hadn't the both of you discussed this earlier, anyways?  
Elena says: I don't know.  
Rufus says: Well, perhaps now that you are both aware of how the other feels, you can have a nice talk about it . . . much like Reno and I hadn't  
Elena says: what happened to you two  
Rufus says: there was very little discussion. Far more action  
Elena says: lovely.  
Rufus says: Of course, there's far more talk now that we've . . . settled into each other. Perhaps it's time to further where we are in the relationship  
Elena says: that's wonderful sir.  
Rufus says: _**watches Reno retreat to the shower**_ I've been planning it for a while. I'd rather surprise him with it, but I'm starting to think he's cluing in  
Elena says: what did you plan sir?  
Rufus says: He'll be moving into my suite, and acquiring a very nice sapphire and emerald ring. Perhaps in platinum.  
Elena says: niiiice  
Rufus says: it's very difficult to find pale blue sapphires in the right size and quality I've been looking for  
Elena says: but its worth the searching  
Rufus says: yes, quite worth the search. I nearly debated rubies, but emeralds are more expensive and harder to find  
Elena says: I think they'll look better on him  
Rufus says: yes. he's already attained quite enough red, and very little to accent the green in his eyes  
Elena says: _**nodds**_  
Rufus says: I wonder how long it will take you and Rude to get to the same level . . . not long, I'd wager  
Elena says: hey! lol  
Rufus says: where did you think Reno got his matchmaker tendencies? I am finally happy, so I would like my Turks to be happy as well  
Rufus says: Or would you rather keep watching from the shadows?  
Elena says: I would like to be happy  
Rufus says: Happiness becomes far more important when a person has been deprived of such for so many years . . . It is truly a wonderful thing to be happy  
Elena says: yes it is  
Rufus says: Perhaps now that you two are on the right track, I can focus on Tseng . . . he truly deserves happiness, for all that he's been through  
Elena says: but who?  
Rufus says: That is the question. It would have to be someone who would get him out of the office once in a while. He spends far too much time here  
Elena says: yes he does.  
Rufus says: perhaps . . . are there any of the female recruits interested in him at all? preferably one with a bit of a wild streak similar to Reno's?  
Elena says: I dunno...I'll have to look  
Rufus says: Please do. he could benefit from someone similar, albeit not too much so, to Reno  
Elena says: yus sir  
Rufus says: that must be why he seems to get so aggravated by Reno . . . he'd like to be able to relax that much  
Elena says: **_nodds_** makes sense  
Rufus says: I may not have all the details of what my father did to him while he was younger, but it definitely changed him  
Elena says: really?  
Rufus says: yes, he was carefree once. Quite a fun-loving boy. Until my father started on him. He needs to get his childhood back  
Rufus says: eight years of being crushed under my father's boot is difficult for someone not used to it  
Elena says: I cant even imagine it  
Rufus says: you wouldn't want to. He only had eight years of it. I'm lucky to still be sane  
Elena says: at least Reno's with you  
Rufus says: yes, undoing all the damage my father did. He's quite skilled at that.  
Rude says: its one of Reno's special talents. I managed to grab the laptop from Elena  
Rufus says: ah, wonderful. Have you been informed of the board meeting that will be happening?  
Rude says: yus. 'Lena told me about it...when keeping my laptop from me.  
Rufus says: and was my wager that you would be perfectly fine with her "off the market" announcement correct?  
Rude says: naturally  
Rufus says: now I have only one last Turk to concern myself with their happiness  
Rude says: His mighty-dotness correct? Elena told me to call him that  
Rufus says: right. I'm amused by Reno's plan to poke his dot, and may in fact do so myself  
Rude says: Heheh. That'll be amusing to watch  
Rufus says: I imagine that would be nearly as startling to him as the announcement at the board meeting  
Rude says: he may just have cardiac arrest  
Rufus says: that I would expect from the announcement. From me poking his dot, I'd think shock would suffice  
Rude says: I mean from the combination  
Rufus says: oh, perhaps do them at the same time? I hadn't thought of that. Good idea  
Rude says: heheh. when are you planning to bring up the meeting?  
Rufus says: as impatient as Reno is, perhaps tomorrow, to drive home the point of what happens to people who upset my best Turks  
Rude says: that makes sense. ASAP is a good time since tomorrow I don't think we have any missions planned  
Rufus says: right. Has the helicopter and surrounding area been fully cleaned yet, or are they still working on it?  
Rude says: it's fully cleaned sir  
Rufus says: Then perhaps we should hold the meeting out there, as a reminder  
Rufus says: while it's still fresh in their minds  
Rude says: Yes sir.  
Rude says: the doctors just came in and are making Elena and I rest. so We both say goodnight and we'll see you and Reno tomorrow  
Rufus says: anyone not there will be fired immediately. As well as anyone causing an uproar  
Rufus says: yes, from what I hear, you both need rest. Goodnight  
Rude says: goodnight


	3. Rufus did WHAT?

**Still don't own 'em, still wish I did.**

So yes, things have happened in this lovely bit of fun we call an IM RP that is just a boatload of humor

My RP of Rufus is deteriorating from the cold businessman you see in both the game and the movie, I'm blaming Reno for it. You can't help but loosen up around that guy, I swear.

Yeah, and the fainting? I did say there was going to be Yaoi . . . just didn't mention the yaoi wedding thing . . .

_Reno's still as much of a prankster as usual though_

* * *

Rude says: I can't believe you actually fainted  
Reno says: wasn't exactly plannin' on it . . . but damn, that had ta be the first time bossman kneeled to someone else in public  
Reno says: prolly the only time  
Rude says: most likely...Lol. I'm still cracking up about it  
Reno says: I know. what happened to dot-head when he saw it?  
Rude says: he went into shock and turned pure white then toppled over...right now he's working on processing it  
Reno says: hahah!! too bad I didn't get to poke his dot . . . maybe next time I see him  
Rude says: yeah...you should do it during the next group meeting. lol  
Rude says: Elena wants to watch his reaction  
Reno says: sure thing buddy  
Reno says: s'pose I should prolly start callin' bossman by his first name now, but habits are hard ta break  
Rude says: what...you haven't started calling him that?  
Reno says: well, I do sometimes, but I kinda like callin him bossman now, it's like a nickname  
Rude says: Lol. Elena said 'cute'  
Reno says: still cute, huh?  
Rude says: yup  
Rude says: Elena's become my second head lol  
Reno says: an I though I was the only one that did that  
Rude says: heh. you've been a bad influence on her  
Reno says: bad influence? me?  
Rude says: yes. you  
Reno says: and yet I'm such a good influence of Rufus . . . how's that work again?  
Rude says: I have no idea...really I don't  
Rude and Elena says: and now Ele- Hey Reno! I stole Rude's keyboard again  
Reno says: Hey 'Lena  
Elena says: he's grumbling about second heads and keyboard stealing Turks. lol  
Reno says: well, someone gotta do like I do when I can't be there  
Elena says: I know! it's how life goes  
Reno says: so ya takin' tips from me to make sure he don't forget, huh?  
Elena says: of course. you're the pefect role model Reno  
Reno says: bossman's laughin at that  
Rude says: **_scoots Elena over_** I can see why  
Rufus says: **_reaching around Reno now_** what was that about being a good influence on me?  
Rude says: it's just you seem much happier with Reno in your life sir. stuff like that  
Rufus says: I could see that.  
Elena says: Heh **_reaches over Rude_** hey Boss. how's you?  
Rufus says: I'm doing wonderfully, how about you?  
Elena says: absolutely fine sir. both Rude and I are fully recovered from the mission a few days ago. grins and Rude is failing to stop me from stealing his keyboard. lol  
Rufus says: of course, just as Reno wouldn't ever stop me from typing on his.  
Elena says: no. he's trying. but not hard enough to keep me from typing lol  
Rufus says: he should try some of Reno's techniques . . . he doesn't grab for my hands or anything like that, just tries to distract me  
Elena says: Yeah. Rude tries to move my hands or move my body so he can type. isn't working and it's funny how annoyed he's getting  
Reno says: **_currently also distracting Rufus_** good thing I can type without lookin' - wanna get 'im to stop? kiss 'im. he'll stop  
Elena says: I don't wanna shock him too bad. Lol. Rude's now flipping the comp off Reno  
Rufus says: Reno is laughing hysterically. I had no idea that he'd tried that trick on Rude as well.  
Reno says: I did not!  
Elena says: I think Rude told me about punching you across the room once cuz you did that as a joke.  
Rude says: Yes you did Reno...That was not funny when you tried that one on me  
Rufus says: **_looks at Reno_** I think that's yet another shade of red that's new to him  
Elena says: what? two shades redder than his hair? **_is leaning over Rude_**  
Rufus says: bordering on red-violet, if I were to judge it correctly  
Rude says: **_snort_** what? is he choking? and do you have a reason why Elena likes making herself my second head?  
Elena says: ahh. you know you like it Rude  
Rufus says: I believe he never intended that one to be made public. and I have my thoughts on the matter, but we wouldn't need yet another person to turn red, now would we?  
Elena says: Rude's looking pink.  
Rufus says: I wasn't aware he could turn pink, that's interesting.  
Elena says: yeah...it's mostly on his ears...lol.  
Rufus says: Perhaps he likes the closeness of you being his second head  
Elena says: Mayyybee...omg...he's gotten red...oo...grins  
Rufus says: of course, I doubt you'd mind him being your second head either  
Elena says: lol. he's done that before. he's a good chair  
Rufus says: **_raises eyebrow and smirks_** oh really? not too lumpy?  
Rufus says: I know Reno can be a rather lumpy chair, but that's why I like sitting on him  
Elena says: nope! lol. he's glaring at me now. lol  
Reno says: **_reaching around Rufus_** I think bossman's goin' for a 'three red Turks' thing . . .  
Elena says: why? cuz I ain't going red  
Rufus says: Oh? should I then mention some of the things I've heard you mention to others about the things you'd like to do with your 'chair?  
Rufus says: and Reno is asking me for the details now  
Elena says: Reno...ask and you will suffer  
Reno says: now I really wanna know . . . what'cha plannin' on doin with my buddy?  
Elena says: Sir?  
Elena says: you've succeeded in your 'three red Turks' plan  
Rufus says: wonderful. now if only Tseng were here. he has his fair share of secrets too  
Elena says: ...**_smirks_**...and Rude has told me a couple  
Rufus says: really, which ones?  
Elena says: like Tseng sleeptalks.  
Rufus says: yes, and it's never anything like he'd say when he's awake  
Elena says: he's talked about baking a cake made out of yodeling cookies sir.  
Elena says: I think the stress is getting to him  
Reno says: **_temporarily distracting bossman_** ya know, ya'd think havin' the reddest Turk 'round'd be enough, but nah, he's gotta make all of us red  
Rufus says: perhaps it is. and yes, Reno, making more Turks red is fun  
Elena says: no offence sir..but shuddup.  
Reno says: damn I love that laugh . . . so fuckin' cute . . .  
Rude and Elena says: **_both raises an eyebrow_**  
Reno says: don't think he took much offense at it  
Elena says: if he's laughing. I don;t think he did  
Rufus says: both of you are welcome to try to get me to change color, if you feel retribution is in order  
Elena says: hmm...did Reno ever hear of the time where you got really drunk sir?  
Rufus says: and Reno is not allowed to help. He already knows enough to turn me red.  
Rufus says: which time? there were many  
Elena says: the time where you started singing Shania Twain and pretended you were a ninja  
Reno says: ain't that a lovely shade 'a pink . . .  
Elena says: knew I could do it...then there was the time you were so bored you made me help you write fake love notes to Tseng to piss him off  
Rufus says: well, I suppose he knows about it now. He has seen me drunk before though  
Reno says: **_pulls tail around to compare to bossman's face_** pretty close match there 'Lena  
Elena says: to what?  
Reno says: you forget what color my hair is already? damn!  
Elena says: no I just forgot what we were comparing shades of blushing to  
Elena says: should I send anymore memories at the boss or do you think we've had enough of a blushing fest with him?  
Reno says: I'm sure as hell interested  
Reno says: bossman's adorable when he turns red  
Elena says: heheh. poor boss. I was there helping him with alot of them. there was the time he was trying to make...something...I think it was cookies since he was hungry and wanted to do something. he just made me get the stuff out and make sure I didn't let him catch on fire or anything. let's just say...there's a reason he stays as far away from ovens and such as much as he can  
Reno says: **_is having an eyebrow raised at him_** uhh . . . I don't think that comment was appreciated  
Elena says: What happened?  
Reno says: hehe, good think I can cook then  
Elena says: yes very good thing  
Reno says: don't think I should ever take pics of bossman when he blushes . . . don't think he wants them shared  
Elena says: no...he'd prolly make you sleep on the couch for a while..or something like that  
Reno says: yeah . . . an I don't wanna take that chance  
Elena says: no...I don't think you do. how red is he Reno?  
Reno says: not so red anymore, I been distracting him for a bit. but he got pretty red . . . almost as red as I can get  
Elena says: I didn't know that was possible  
Reno says: lotta things are more possible than ya think  
Elena and Rude says: do I want to know? Rude qui- keyboard's mine now...'Lena's glaring at me now too  
Reno says: uh, just somethin' mentioned to me earlier that we're thinkin' on. not sure if we're gonna do that or not yet  
Rude says: she says 'then I really don't wanna know'  
Reno says: ya might eventually, if we do decide to  
Rude says: well then. I'll wait for the surprise  
Reno says: and whatta surprise it'll be  
Rude and Elena says: dammit! she keeps stealing the keyboard! Elena- There! that shut him up! thanks for the earlier tip Reno. and yes. I can imagine it'll be a big surprise  
Reno says: how red he gettin? cuz I know he weren't ready for that  
Elena says: uhh..his ears and cheeks almost match your hair Reno  
Reno says: damn girl . . . that can'tve been just a little kiss then  
Elena says: it shut him up. that's all I'm telling you, Red  
Reno says: hehehe. just as long as you ain't outdoin' me and bossman, I'm fine with it  
Elena says: we haven't done even that much Reno. get your head outta the gutter  
Reno says: an' I just found out somethin' bossman been keepin' secret from alluvus  
Elena says: whazzat  
Reno says: uhh . . . over your left shoulder, corner of the room . . . tell me if ya see anythin' funny  
Reno says: and that was one helluva pucker ya gave Rude . . .  
Elena says: what do you mean Reno? and what is that in the corner?  
Reno says: uh, let's just say I might have some sorta clue as ta how bossman knows so much 'bout us  
Elena says: ...is that a camera.  
Reno says: ehm . . . yeah  
Rude says: **_twitches_**  
Rude says: Ehhh...she just shot the camera  
Elena says: And Reno. what do you mean by that was some kiss I gave Rude?  
Reno says: eheh . . . it's on tape?  
Rude says: **_twitches again_** and she just shot the camera another...2 times?  
Rufus says: And I refuse to destroy said tape. That is possibly the reddest I have ever seen Reno  
Rude says: why is he so red?  
Rufus says: perhaps it was from being embarrassed about telling what he'd seen? or perhaps it was from seeing how long I'd been watching him  
Rufus says: he's quite the dancer alone in his room . . . and I love the 'outfit' he dances in  
Rude says: Niiiice. I always had a feeling he did something like that smirks 'scuse us for a minute sir. I'm gonna go get Rude a drink cuz he still seems to be getting over shock  
Rufus says: not a problem. and which shock was that? the, er, tonsil hockey, as Reno has described it, or the camera?  
Elena says: a combination sir  
Rufus says: I see. I would attribute it more to the distraction you provided him than the cameras  
Elena and Rude says: you never know **_shrugs and gets pushed away_** I'm fine now. Whiskey is a good remedy to shock  
Rufus says: good to know. I should probably supply Reno with some . . . he was quite startled by the number of tapes I had of him  
Rude says: Indeed. it's the Jack-whatever stuff you have in the public cabinet  
Rufus says: Jack Daniels? I have far superior in my private stock. Jack Daniels is popular though  
Rude says: Yes. it works though  
Rude says: so I can see why it's popular  
Rufus says: right. it does have it's distinctive flavor that many enjoy  
Rude says: **_nodds_** and Elena just downed the rest of it.  
Rufus says: oh my, can she hold her liquor? I just saw a 10,000 gil bottle of bourbon disappear down Reno's throat  
Rude says: she's been close to how long it takes Reno to get drunk  
Rude says: same with me  
Rude says: but I can drink him under the table  
Rufus says: he is rather smaller in form than you are, so that's not surprising  
Rude says: Heh. it's helpful when someone has to get him home when he gets drunk  
Rufus says: true. although now I suppose he could always call for a car to pick him up like I do  
Rude says: eh. when he's drunk enough, he can't even punch in the numbers  
Rufus says: that would be when someone should contact me to pick him up. then I can really have some fun with him  
Rude says: that would be interesting to see him stumble in the next morning  
Rude says: and be totally silent for once  
Rude says: because I have a feeling that's what would happen  
Rufus says: perhaps . . . or perhaps he'll have his own difficulty sitting for a few hours  
Rude says: ...**_snorts in amusement_**  
Rufus says: well . . . I may enjoy the lack of control, but every relationship must have balance  
Elena says: **_proceeds to sit on Rude and steal laptop again_** that makes sense sir  
Rufus says: hehehe, be sure to let me know if anything further grows between you. I like to know when happiness grows  
Elena says: it's growing alright. Lol. Rude's giving me the evil eye for stealing his laptop again  
Reno says: _**reaching 'round bossman**_ damn, bossman gettin' kinda bold there . . . and I don't think evil eye's what he meant  
Elena says: **_twitches_** sure feels like it  
Reno says: not sure I'm followin' ya there, 'Lena. **_sits on bossman's lap_**  
Elena says: it's like a glare only more concentrated...oo  
Reno says: I know the evil eye, didn't think that was what you were referrin' to. an I know that ain't what Rufus was referrin' to  
Elena says: ...meh  
Reno says: I know I'm gettin' the treatment bossman was talkin' about  
Elena says: ...meh.  
Rude says: stop teasing her Reno  
Reno says: hehehe, but it's so much fun! 'sides, not like she's blushin' again, is she?  
Rude says: like a schoolgirl  
Reno says: hehehe, but I didn't really start it  
Reno says: it was both of us  
Rude says: you still helped start it  
Reno says: you're only pickin' on me cuz ya can't pick on bossman  
Rude says: exactly  
Rufus says: I assure you, picking on me is not off-limits. Do I really come off as that hard-assed?  
Rude says: no. but I do value my job  
Reno says: trust me buddy, he ain't nearly so anal as he usedta be. **_laughs at his pun_**  
Rude and Elena say: haha very funny Reno  
Rude and Elena says: fun...**_grins_** Elena! leave my laptop alone! No! Why not?! Because I dun't have to! What-! hehe. had to shut him up again  
Reno says: havin' fun 'Lena?  
Elena says: maaayyyybee  
Reno says: isn't he fun ta mess with?  
Elena says: of course!  
Rude says: I'm right here.  
Elena says: your point?  
Rude says: . . .  
Reno says: I know you are . . . it's more fun ta mess with ya to your face, why d'ya think I did it so much?  
Rude says: shuddup Reno.  
Elena says: LOL  
Reno says: aw, why should I? I never did before  
Elena says: I think he's just annoyed about the fact that I can shut him up when I want to now  
Reno says: why do I get the feelin' you'll be doin' that a lot?  
Elena says: it's fun to take advantage of **_evil grin_**  
Rude says: good god.  
Rufus says: I for one think she enjoys shutting him up as much as he enjoys being shut up by her.  
Elena says: probably  
Elena says: Ah! it seems Rude was able to get a pic of you two! CUTE!  
Rufus says: alright, let's do this fairly then. On a scale of one to ten, ten obviously the highest, how much do the both of you enjoy the shutting up?  
Elena says: 10  
Rude says: ...depends  
Elena says: Hey!  
Elena says: Didja get the pic sir/Reno?  
Rufus says: there seems to be something tying up the input feed to this laptop. we're repairing it right now  
Elena says: ok  
Rufus says: that may have fixed it, now to get the browser back up  
Elena says: lovely.  
Reno says: nice pic, buddy. which time was that?  
Rude says: probably the time I caught you in the hallway  
Reno says: I collect pix of us too, ya know. like the one I made inta the icon I use  
Rude says: I see that  
Rude says: Elena's 'fangirling'  
Reno says: you're lucky I ain't usin' some of my favorite pics. Hey, she want the bigger pic of it?  
Rude says: she's nodding rapidly  
Reno says: a'right, lemme send it then  
Rude says: I asked her why she doesn't use her own laptop and she just grins at me.  
Reno says: I think she likes buggin' ya, is all  
Reno says: or maybe she just wants ta have more opportunities to shut ya up  
Rude says: she's enjoying this new power way too much.  
Reno says: you mad I suggested it or somethin?  
Rude says: not really. it made life interesting  
Reno says: man you're fickle. ya tell me one thing, then ya act otherwise . . . or is this just you bein' shy?  
Rude says: you tell me Red.  
Reno says: I'll tell 'er . . . don't think I won't  
Reno says: or maybe ya want me ta tell 'er  
Elena says: Tell me what? it must be big if Rude's trying to keep me from seeing the computer screen  
Reno says: why he's bein all . . . ya know . . . reluctant ta say for sure how much he likes the shuttin' up and stuff  
Elena says: Oh. in other words, he's being shy  
Reno says: yup. he's hella shy when it comes ta certain stuff . . . or certain people  
Elena says: really? **_looks at Rude_**  
Reno says: you catchin' on then?  
Elena says: yup! one sec Reno. Imma gonna take care of the shyness for a sec'  
Reno says: I can't wait to hear the response to this . . .  
Rude says: Reno...what have you taught her?  
Reno says: whatever do you mean, buddy?  
Rude says: **_twitches_**  
Elena says: I think I took care of the shyness partially!  
Reno says: what'd ya do, 'Lena?  
Elena says: you really wanna know?  
Reno says: I'm onea them curious types  
Reno says: 'sides, I couldn't spy on ya anymore  
Elena says: to say the least..it was probably for your sights...3 times as hot as the kiss you saw on the tape  
Reno says: hm . . . somethin' more than a kiss then? cuz that kiss weren't exactly tame  
Elena says: just a lil bit  
Reno says: I knew ya had it in ya. he kept gettin' all kindsa flustered when I called ya his. so didja like the pic?  
Elena says: yes **_grin_**  
Reno says: I have more, but I don't think ya wanna see some of them . . . they're . . . about 100 times 'more' than the one I sent  
Elena says: wooow...or boss don't want anyone seeing lol  
Reno says: some 'o them I prolly would get stuck on the couch for showin  
Elena says: Yup  
Rufus says: Perhaps, but it would depend on the picture. I'm certain that some of the pictures involving your emrs would scar them  
Elena says: or Rude would kick your ass for showing...he's giving the screen a blank look  
Rufus says: he already has some idea of what I mean  
Elena says: yeah.  
Rufus says: and I believe that would be Reno's ass he'd be kicking. He may find it hard to do much harm to mine  
Elena says: yeah that's what I meant sir  
Rufus says: especially after how much has been done to said derriere  
Elena says: indeed  
Rufus says: how cute, Reno is emphasizing the nickname 'Red' again  
Elena says: Lol. well, there's more than the color of his hair why we call him that  
Rufus says: yes, he does blush rather easily, doesn't he?  
Rufus says: I find it sweet  
Elena says: yes he does. I find it fun to make him blush and see how many shades of red we can make him turn  
Rufus says: it seems we share similar pasttimes then. Blushing Reno is just too much fun  
Elena says: Yes he is  
Reno says: aright already, you all keep havin your fun pickin at me  
Reno says: you forget, I got dirt, and access to better dirt now  
Elena says: Will do Reno!  
Elena says: and yeah, but who says I'm afraid of talking about said dirt on me?  
Reno says: oh? then what's your worst dirt? don't think I can't confirm it somehow  
Elena says: why don't you tell me? since you have so much dirt on me  
Reno says: hmmm . . . how about the time you tried to spy on my buddy by crawlin' in the air ducts?  
Reno says: an got more of a show than ya thought ya would  
Elena says: I was a rookie and actually. I was put up to it by a fellow rookie for a good couple thousand Gil  
Reno says: sure liked what'cha saw though, didn'cha?  
Elena says: Sure did  
Elena says: lol  
Rude says: you've poisoned her with your perverted mind Reno  
Reno says: she came already half perverted buddy, and that show ya didn't realize ya gave her at the time just made 'er more perverted  
Rude says: . . .  
Reno says: how much didja stay for, 'Lena?  
Reno says: you get the _whole_ show?  
Elena says: no shit **_grin_** and wow, Rude's matching your hair right about now!  
Reno says: damn, that affected him more than you  
Elena says: Yup  
Reno says: but didja know that he took on a SOLDIER on his own cuz said dude checked out your ass?  
Elena says: WHAT!  
Reno says: yup, wouldn't let me so much as help. every time I tried, I got clocked  
Elena says: ouch.  
Reno says: remember when I had that broken jaw? and nose?  
Reno says: and matching black eyes  
Reno says: and I wouldn't tell ya why?  
Elena says: Oh.  
Reno says: I had ta undergo some painful recovery shit for that  
Elena says: ...good thing Rude's out of the room so he doesn't see this.  
Reno says: yeah, not to come down on him and shit, but that fuckin' treatment I got hurt. fuckin' Hojo and his crazy shit  
Elena says: I hated Hojo.  
Reno says: you ever get onea his treatments?  
Elena says: yeah. yeah I have  
Reno says: must not've been as heavy as the one I got . . . hell, my eyes usedta be just hazel. fuckin' Hojo changed that with his treatments  
Elena says: my eyes used to be green. the treatment darkened them  
Reno says: but then again . . . if my eyes hadn't gone all green, I might not've gotten what I'd been wantin' all this time.  
Reno says: fuckin' Mako, eh?  
Elena says: Yeah. I hate Mako...it fucked my Dad up too  
Reno says: it's got it's perks . . . **_watches Rufus change inta some pajama bottoms_**  
Elena says: for you, yeah.  
Reno says: hehehe, you should ask Rude what got him lookin' atcha . . .  
Elena says: uhh...he said my spunk.  
Reno says: that was when he got ta know ya. wouldn't admit it, but he really likes your eyes.  
Elena says: ?  
Reno says: usedta tell me that, anyways  
Elena says: oh...Rude's back in here now!  
Reno says: mighta changed by now, but that's what I remember  
Elena says: **_shrugs_** he seems to like looking at my eyes  
Rude says: that I do  
Reno says: what'd I tell ya?  
Elena says: Shuddup Reno.  
Rude says: she's pink. cute  
Reno says: oh yeah, and 'Lena? I keep hearin' 'bout barmaids gettin' broken hands and stuff after me an Rude go to 'em . . . usually ones that flirt with him. any idea why?  
Elena says: nope. I wouldn't know a thing  
Reno says: really? cuz I did ask a couple . . . they said a blonde woman did it . . . she had short hair . . . and a suit on.  
Elena says: .  
Reno says: I did say I had dirt  
Elena says: shuddup. maybe I did maybe I didn't  
Reno says: maybe I should show them a picture of ya, see how they react to it  
Elena says: go ahead  
Reno says: one of the ones that got their arm broke said the last thing they remember before they fainted was the woman tellin' her to "stay away from my Rude. in fact, stay away from the Turks in general"  
Elena says: that's starting to sound familiar  
Reno says: I had to remember that claim on my buddy . . . at that time, he was still very single . . .  
Elena says: Meh  
Reno says: one of 'em called the woman a 'not-quite green eyed monster'  
Elena says: looking at the time. I gotta go to bed and make Rude sleep some too. he's been spending all night working on paperwork. Nightz Reno. Night Boss  
Reno says: alright, seeya tomorrow 'Lena. maybe I'll bring onea them barmaids over to confirm somethin like that  
Rufus says: Alright, enough tormenting her, we need our 'sleep' too, Reno. Goodnight Elena, Rude.  
Elena says: Rude says goodnight  
**_XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx_**  
Elena says: RENO YOU BASTARD! YOU PUT PINK HAIR DYE IN MY SHAMPOO! AND NOW RUDES LAUGHING ABOUT IT!  
Reno says: sorry 'bout that, 'Lena, but it was too good to resist  
Rude says: Reno? I would stay away from Elena for a good few hours or at least get back on her good side because she's reloading her gun  
Reno says: so I shouldn't tell her about the instant hair growth stuff I put in your bodywash?  
Rude says: She's been using that you know..not me..and now she's screaming bloody murder...you're a dead man walking Reno  
Reno says: you know what happens when I die . . . not that I'm hidin' behind them linen trousers an all  
Rude says: Yes...but you started it and I ain't saving you pal  
Reno says: 'sides, she had ta know that she was gonna get more pranks now that she's with ya  
Reno says: as it is, I also pretty much stuck myself on the couch . . .  
Rude says: good idea. you're buying her shampoo and bodywash now. I got my own  
Reno says: gotcha. I'll get her the fancy stuff that bossman uses . . . without the dye I put in his . . . **_snickers_**  
Rude says: oh god...now you really are a dead man walking...what color?  
Reno says: I did say I stuck myself on the couch . . .  
Reno says: blue, to match his eyes  
Rude says: oh god...**_snorts_**  
Reno says: I even got a picture  
Rude says: Yeah...I can tell he's gonna be mad at you for a while Reno  
Reno says: but he looks so good in blue. see? (link removed for not wanting to be killed)  
Rude says: still...he's about to murder you...isn't he  
Reno says: nah, not murder, just some punishment  
Rude says: you think?  
Reno says: I know. my feet're sore from standin' so much  
Rude says: do I want to know?  
Reno says: I can't sit. 'nuff said  
Rude says: **_snorts in laughter_** go Boss.  
Reno says: an my wrists are killin' me. didn't know how much cuffs can hurt  
Reno says: you don't wanna know the full extent of the punishment I took  
Rude says: no I don't  
Reno says: **_sighs_** I s'pose I shoulda stopped while I was ahead . . . I bet the pink brings out 'Lena's eyes though . . .  
Reno says: took me a long time to pick that shade, ya know  
Rude says: lol. she's flipping the comp off  
Reno says: at least I didn't put no mako in it. I coulda  
Rude says: you know I woulda killed you for that  
Reno says: yeah . . . if she didn't beat me to it. tell 'er to wash up with the stuff I'm sendin' over - it'll fix everythin'  
Rude says: kay she's still glaring at the comp  
Reno says: I already made sure it worked. put it this way, aside from that pic, you ain't never gonna see bossman with blue hair  
Reno says: an he's got a paler shade of blonde than she does  
Rude says: she giggled at the pic  
Reno says: I think he looks cute that way  
Rude says: lol  
Reno says: but I gotta say, it's real boring standin out here alone. I really fucked this one up  
Rude says: yeahhh...you did  
Reno says: I coulda done worse though. I at least still got my ring  
Rude says: yup  
Reno says: . . . an I been sober for too long . . . ain't had a drink since I pulled that prank. not allowed  
Rude says: heheh. you had it coming  
Reno says: yeah  
Rude says: uh oh.  
Reno says: what?  
Elena says: Reno that has has got to be the dumbest prank you have ever done  
Reno says: no shit. I really fucked myself over, an I ain't happy 'bout it  
Elena says: I can see that  
Reno says: you feelin' better yet, now that I'm absofuckinlutely miserable?  
Elena says: no. I'm sorry you're miserable.  
Reno says: don't worry 'bout it . . . I think I can grovel enough to get outta this . . . eventually  
Elena says: eventually  
Reno says: **_beats head against the desk_** ugh ok, yeah, y'all were right all the times ya called me an idiot  
Reno says: and mahogany hurts  
Elena says: duuuh  
Reno says: an I know I'm bein watched, but I ain't really carin', cuz all I'm bein is sore and miserable. hope that shows how sorry I am  
Elena says: maybe it will  
Reno says: at least you weren't talkin to me earlier . . . I was pathetic  
Elena says: ehh.  
Reno says: trust me . . . it was sad. there's prolly video of it too  
Reno says: anyway, that stuff work?  
Rude says: Elena's in the shower  
Reno says: 'kay. try not to peek like she did a while back.  
Rude says: shuddup  
Reno says: or maybe ya should . . .  
Rude says: ...glares  
Reno says: I gotta entertain myself somehow  
Reno says: I'm goin nuts!  
Rude says: heheh  
Reno says: yeah yeah, yuk it up  
Rude says: already have  
Reno says: I noticed  
Rude says: indeed  
Reno says: **_plants face on desk_**  
Rude says: Poor Reno? and Elena's happy the hair dye came out  
Rufus says: **_reaches over and around Reno, attempting not to disturb him_** would you say he's suffered enough? I'm sure he's been through hell  
Rude says: yeah I think he has  
Rufus says: it's cute seeing him beat himself up this way though  
Rude says: lol. Elena's just blank facing at the comp screen  
Rufus says: really, I didn't mind the blue hair as much as I let him think  
Rude says: lol  
Rufus says: although the punishment was fun  
Rude says: mustof been for you sir  
Rufus says: quite. it was rather a first for me  
Rude says: really?  
Rufus says: yes. and it was nearly as enjoyable as the other way around  
Rude says: heheh Elena says 'interesting change in plans then'  
Rufus says: oh?  
Rude says: she didn't know if you were gonna end up switching at all anytime soon  
Rufus says: it was enjoyable, but I'm rather fond of how things normally are  
Rude says: she nodded and is now stealing the-  
Elena says: Scooch Rude  
Elena says: hey Sir. but yeah? **_shrugs_** personally, I just think if Reno doesn't get out of that funk of his soon, he's gonna depress the entire building  
Rufus says: yes, he usually is the one that cheers up the place, isn't he?  
Elena says: yup  
Rufus says: Alright, I believe he should be a bit happier now - not as happy as after one of the 'meetings' I'm sure he's mentioned, but enough  
Elena says: what did you do sir? if you don't mine me asking.  
Rufus says: I believe he forgot that the desk that he was kneeling against was open on both ends.  
Elena says: Oh  
Elena says: that makes sense now  
Rufus says: yes, I imagine it does  
Elena says: Rude sighed and snorted...in amusement I think  
Rufus says: he certainly says volumes without saying much at all, doesn't he?  
Elena says: Yup  
Reno says: **_yawns and stretches _**I feel much better now . . . not nearly so miserable as before  
Elena says: that's good  
Reno says: your hair in order again?  
Elena says: thankfully  
Reno says: 'm I off the hitlist?  
Elena says: maybe  
Reno says: want some truffles?  
Elena says: don't bribe me  
Elena says: you're off the hitlist for now  
Reno says: wasn't tryin' to. we got too many up here  
Elena says: but you owe me shampoo and bodywash  
Reno says: I'm already sendin' down some fancy stuff. I just wanted ta know if ya wanted some of the truffles we got too much of too  
Elena says: gimme. I need chocolate  
Reno says: arighty. somea them got alcohol in 'em  
Elena says: good  
Reno says: I dunno which ones, but they should show up soon  
Elena says: meh...I g2g Reno. Rude says Tseng wants to talk to us...again...so we g2g  
Reno says: alrighty, poke dothead in the dot for me  
Elena says: Will do  
Elena says: seeyah. and Rude says to stay outta trouble you stupid red  
Reno says: that'll never happen  
Elena says: didn't think so


	4. What in the name of Shiva is going on?

**Still not mine. LOL**

Here, we get to see why you MUST, and I repeat MUST have communication in any relationship, yaoi or not.

I really made Rufus mean here, so I'm sorry to anyone who thinks he'd never get like this, I think he would.

**Communicate, people!!**

* * *

Reno says: Heya Partner  
Rude says: sup  
Reno says: always seems the goin' from takes less time than the goin' to, don't it?  
Rude says: no shit  
Reno says: always in a rush ta take ya from where ya wanna be  
Rude says: It's what happens  
Reno says: yup  
Reno says: _**changes outta work uniform to get into favorite new lounge clothes - Rufus' long vest**_  
Rude says: s_**nickers. cuz is already in comfy clothes**_  
Reno says: lucky. I had ta work late, ya know  
Rude says: yeah yeah. I know  
Reno says: didn't help gettin grief at the door . . . but at least I'm here now  
Rude says: what happened?  
Reno says: got confused for someone else, then they wanted ta talk ta me for what seemed like hours before they'd leave me be  
Rude says: geeze **_cringes_**  
Reno says: ya'd think after all this time, they'da learned  
Rude says: nope...they dont though  
Reno says: wish I could fire 'em  
Rude says: you cant tho?  
Reno says: nah, I ain't got that kinda power yet  
Rude says: damn  
Reno says: sure wish I did  
Reno says: Rufus an I went ta see Hojo today . . . sure as hell didn't wanna, but it's for good reason  
Rude says: whatcha up to?  
Reno says: ah . . . one of us gonna get real cranky soon, we just can't decide who  
Rude says: ?  
Reno says: ah . . . bossman wants someone ta . . . yaknow, carry on an so on  
Rude says: **_blinks in surprise_** oh...oh really.  
Reno says: yeah . . .  
Reno says: I keep tellin' him I got too much dangerous stuff goin' on round me  
Rude says: he would be safer.  
Reno says: exactly, he don't get out in danger as often as I do  
Rude says:**_ nodds _**I just hope he doesnt fire us all on one of his 'moods'  
Reno says: yeah, that'd be pretty fucked . . .  
Rude says: yeah...it would.  
Reno says: prolly need constant supervision over the mood swings or somethin  
Rude says: that will probably fall to you, Reno  
Reno says: most likely  
Rude says: wouldnt be surprised  
Reno says: I'm prolly the only one who'll be able ta get close ta him in that state of mind  
Rude says: and calm him down...just keep the shotty away from him  
Reno says: yeah. he don't need that when he's mood swingin' . . . or worse, when it starts kickin  
Rude says: **_sweatdrops_** Elena's probably gonna go crazy, helpin' boss out  
Reno says: yeah, I bet she'll be all kinda motherly or somethin like that  
Rude says: Yeah...good thing I'm used to this  
Reno says: big family and all that?  
Rude says: Yup. and i was one of the oldest three, so I've had my share of pregs and mood swings  
Reno says: I should just call down to Hojo and tell him to stick it in bossman . . . make it look like he needs both of us down there or somethin and surprise him or some shit like that  
Rude says: sounds like a plan  
Reno says: hehehe, I'll be put on the couch for a night or so for it, but I think it's worth it to keep the kid safe  
Rude says: **_nodds_** kid comes first  
Reno says: Rufus'll get over it. **_picks up phone to call Hojo_**  
Rude says: have fun  
Reno says: gah, I hate talkin to this guy . . . he's too goddamn creepy  
Rude says: pedo-rapist.  
Reno says: no shit. creepy ass fuck. Alright, that's done  
Rude says: kool  
Reno says: amazin how quickly he caught on to my plan, and agreed ta play along  
Rude says: well, he IS quite a bit smarter than most of us.  
Reno says: yeah, I know, but he's too creepy 'bout it  
Rude says: I agree.  
Reno says: so yeah, tomorrow we get ta go down and get bossman laughs knocked up  
Rude says: **_snorts in laughter_**  
Reno says: damn, that's gonna be funny for weeks  
Rude says: aint lettin' that one go for a while  
Reno says: nope. even moreso when he starts showin  
Rude says: snorts that'll be a sight to see  
Reno says: can't wait to see it . . . I'm gonna prolly be all kindsa gushy over his bump  
Rude says: ...**_snorts in amusement at mental image_**  
Reno says: I'm gonna look like some sorta lovestruck fool, ain't I?  
Rude says: yup  
Rude says: your gonna be a daddy **_grins_**  
Reno says: **_grins hugely and blushes like a maniac_** I'm already actin' like a lovestruck fool, aren't I?  
Rude says: yup  
Reno says: I ain't even cursin as much . . . fuck . . .  
Rude says: you just did. heh  
Reno says: yeah, but check all them posts before, barely a shit in there  
Rude says: I know. a-fucking-mazing, partner  
Reno says: Ain't it? shit, I'm becoming respectable or somethin like that  
Rude says: hey. its good practice...though a little unusual  
Reno says: yeah, guess so. still can't believe I'm gonna be a daddy though. it's a headrush, ya know?  
Rude says: yeah. I can guess  
Reno says: just wait till you get there  
Rude says: heh  
Reno says: you'll get all dorky and stupid like me too  
Rude says: heh  
Rude says: if I'm anything like you. I'd be worried  
Reno says: probably  
Reno says: especially since ya can't just tell 'Laney to take all that time offa work  
Rude says: yeah.  
Reno says: but then again, you get ta protect her more  
Rude says: ...**_smirks_**  
Reno says: I know ya like doin that  
Rude says: I do it even if she doesn't need it.  
Reno says: yeah, she's tough, but I know you're gonna go nuts tryin to protect her more once she's carryin your kid  
Rude says: yeah yeah. I know  
Reno says: ya might even annoy her, protectin her so much  
Rude says: ...meh  
Reno says: How long we been partners? I know you dude  
Rude says: 8-9 years.  
Reno says: yeah, you're gonna freak over her. I know  
Rude says: shuddup  
Reno says: I only speak the truth on this. Hell, I wouldn't lie ta people that drank me under the table . . . much as I resent it  
Rude says: grins 'Lena is going to use that against you, yah know  
Reno says: yeah, I know  
Rude says: lol  
Reno says: shit, I don't think I'll notice it after tomorrow. sorry ta disappoint her  
Rude says: **_glances at second head_** she says she doesnt care, really  
Reno says: she know why I'm gonna be distracted?  
Rude says: shes read the entire convo  
Reno says: and what's she thinkin?  
Rude says: she thinks its adorable.  
Reno says: augh, again with the cute  
Rude says: she just grinned and said it's a girl thing, you should be able to understand, Reno  
Reno says: why should_ I_ be able to understand?  
Rude and Elena says: well...she pofnwufbwilaBUDBI GIRLY HAIR!  
Reno says: Dammit 'Laney! it ain't girly!  
Elena says: yes it is Renella!  
Reno says: It is not!  
Elena says: it is tooooo!! grins  
Reno says: I finally manage to stop cursing so fuckin' much, and you gotta get me started again  
Elena says: sorrryyy! your gonna have to learn how to deal with it if your gonna have a baby!  
Reno says: I'm already gonna have the kid pullin' my ponytail all the time, I'm tryin' ta retrain myself so I don't have it's first word bein' fuck. I'd get assreamed for that  
Elena says: exactly. if you can stand me annoying you with keeping the swearing to a minamim, it'll be easier for you once the kiddo's here!  
Reno says: fu . . . I HATE YOU right now 'Lena  
Elena says: hey. call it 'training'  
Reno says: . . . you suck, 'Laney  
Elena says: Heheh. you love me. don't deny it  
Reno says: you have no idea how hard I'm tryin' not ta cuss you out right now  
Elena says: **_smiles_** like I said...it's 'training' for when the baby comes!  
Rufus says: Why is Reno stomping around with his fist shoved in his mouth? It looks like he's throwing some sort of fit  
Elena says: he's trying to learn to keep the cussing to a minimum, sir  
Rufus says: hmm, trying to change for the better?  
Elena says: yup!  
Rufus says: perhaps that night of drinking him under the table did him some good  
Elena says: I would think so  
Rufus says: He seems to have calmed down some  
Elena says: orly?  
Reno says: yes, 'Laney, I'm calmer. no more hissy fit  
Elena says: **_smiles_**  
Reno says: it don't mean I'm happy, but I'm calmer  
Elena says: better than almost eating your fist  
Reno says: or having my sinuses ripped out of my nostrils?  
Elena says: yup!  
Reno says: **_sighs_** I hope I don't have to deal with that again . . .  
Elena says:**_ snickers_**  
Rufus says: Do I want to know about this sinus removal?  
Elena says: it happened while dealing with the possessed children and the sudden bahamut  
Rufus says: The summon that Kadaj did? How does that translate to sinus removal?  
Elena says: kid Reno was pickin up dug his fingers up Red's nose and tried to remove his sinuses it looked like  
Rufus says: **_snickers_** I imagine that didn't feel too wonderful  
Elena says: **_laughs_** only Red can tell you that  
Rufus says: He says that it felt worse than some of the piercings that I heard Tseng had him take out  
Elena says: ah  
Rufus says: Some of those piercings I imagine he wasn't comfortable taking out  
Elena says: from what I'm hearing, they probably aren't  
Rufus says: I've heard there was some I possibly might have wanted him to keep  
Rufus says: perhaps if he wants them back . . .  
Elena says: ...**_shrugs_**  
Rufus says: although that would be interesting with tomorrow's appointment  
Elena says: lol  
Rufus says: especially considering that being in the public eye is not condusive to a rather suspicious weight gain  
Reno says: **_snorts_** neither is fighting off people tryin' ta kill ya, bossman -  
**_xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx_**  
Elena says: hey!  
Reno says: hey there buddy  
Elena says: it's 'Lena. Rude...is cooking  
Reno says: you're my buddy too, ain'cha?  
Elena says: **_shrugs_** eh. Rudes a good cook. yah know what?  
Reno says: what?  
Elena says: what, what?  
Reno says: you asked me "yah know what?", so what?  
Elena says: Eh! i mean 'that'  
Reno says: lol, you typo freak  
Elena says: shuddup  
Reno says: that's whatcha get for agreein' with everyone and sendin' me ta penmanship classes  
Elena says: you actually went!  
Elena says: Rude twitched  
Reno says: I wasn't given the choice . . .  
Elena says: touche  
Reno says: either go, or stay in the living room  
Elena says: heheheh  
Reno says: yeah yeah, enjoy my sufferin  
Elena says: **_grins_** I will  
Reno says: ha ha.  
Elena says: **_grins evilly_**  
Elena says: yay! food! Rude made me food  
Reno says: I'm already gonna be sufferin' enough when the truth of that appointment with Hojo comes out . . .  
Elena says: oh niiiiice  
Reno says: yeah, I didn't say who got implanted, and neither did Hojo . . . I think bossman is gonna be pissed when he finds out  
Elena says: pissed? maybe...wanna-shoot-your-guts-out-furious? Definitely  
Reno says: fuuuuck . . . dammit . . . I'm tryin ta stop cursing!  
Elena says: your trying. kudos for that  
Reno says: yeah . . .  
Elena says: poor you  
Reno says: it's gettin' ta be torture, ya know  
Elena says: it was your choice  
Reno says: cuz I'd prolly get my hand shot off if the kid's first word is fuck  
Elena says: I would say more...inbetween the legs.  
Reno says: nah, bossman likes that a little too much  
Elena says: you may never know.  
Reno says: maybe I should tell him before anything starts buggin him . . . like morning sickness  
Elena says: ah...**_shrugs_** cant help you there  
Reno says: you're the chick, you should know about this stuff  
Elena says: oh _thaaaaaaaaankkks_  
Reno says: what? we sure don't get this stuff normally  
Elena says: I was the last child, how should I know?! Ask Rude about this stuff  
Reno says: oh now _that_ don't sound weird _at all_  
Elena says: dry sarcasm doesn't become you  
Reno says: no, it's more bossman's thing, but dude, that just sounds hella fucked  
Reno says: dammit  
Elena says: thats two times.  
Elena says: and yes I like annoying you  
Reno says: **_muffled cursing _**yes I have my fist in my mouth again  
Elena says: dont try and choke yourself...and I'm sure that doesnt look wrong wherever you are, at all.  
Reno says: ha ha  
Elena says: **_smirk_**  
**_Elena pats Reno on the head _**  
Reno says: **_rolls eyes_** gee, thanks 'Laney  
Elena says: your welcome  
Reno says: as it is, I'm actually hiding in a closet  
Elena says: with the laptop?  
Reno says: yes, with the laptop  
Elena says: when ya' coming out?  
Reno says: already have, but I'm hidin' for a damn good reason  
Elena says: if you already have...why arent you somewhere else?  
Reno says: because Rufus is figurin' out who got the kid . . .  
Elena says: be a man for once  
Reno says: He knows I usually hide here if I'm scareda him anyways  
Elena says: then why bother hiding? he's gonna find you anyway  
Reno says: to delay the inevitable  
Elena says: thats pointless. your a Turk  
Reno says: it's different in a relationship and you know it 'Laney.  
Reno says: Just ask Rude if ya don't believe me  
Elena says: I know what you mean. but shouldnt you just face him already? I mean...you dont know his actual reaction, right?  
Reno says: no, but I know he ain't gonna be happy . . . he kept pushin for me ta carry it  
Elena says: **_shrugs_** we'll see  
Reno says: . . . the power cord is pulling taught . . .  
Elena says: oh dear...have fun  
Rufus says: Did you know about this?  
Elena says: yes...just lately tho  
Rufus says: Before, or after it happened?  
Elena says: after  
Rufus says: But before I knew, correct?  
Elena says: yes sir.  
Rufus says: Am I the last to know?  
Elena says: except for Tseng and any rookies we have left...yes.  
Rufus says: When did Rude know?  
Elena says: before.  
Elena says: Sorry Rude! cant get you out of this one!  
Rude says: shit.  
Rufus says: And how did this occur without my knowledge?  
Rude says: No idea really...ask Reno on that one  
Rufus says: Excuse me for a moment . . . I have a redheaded Turk to deal with  
Rude says: ...**_looks at Elena_**  
Elena says: **_looks back at Rude_** he's dead meatz.  
Reno says: . . . ow . . . **_typing really slowly_** . . . reminder . . . tell Rufus everything first . . .  
Elena says: what happened?  
Reno says: let's just say I'm curled up on the floor, hurting everywhere  
Elena says: ouch.  
Elena says: what did he beat you with?  
Reno says: the burlwood stock of his favorite shotty  
Rude says: ...I feel for you, partner.  
Elena says: how can you even MOVE, Reno!  
Reno says: you don't wanna. I've been denied all cures and potions cuz he's that pissed  
Reno says: cuz I'm a Turk  
Elena says: touche. poor baby.  
Reno says: I don't think I can work tomorrow  
Elena says: Where is Bossman anyway?  
Reno says: I unno, an I dun wanna find out . . . might get hurt more  
Elena says: you want me to talk to him?  
Reno says: you think you can get him to calm down? he's pretty pissed  
Elena says: I can try  
Reno says: please then . . . I wanna apologize and stuff, and I tried, but he either didn't hear me, or didn't wanna  
Elena says: oh...well, find him or Something, so I can talk to him.  
Reno says: ok . . . _**squirms around on the floor, pushing the laptop ahead of him**_  
Rude says: worm, much?  
Reno says: shuddup, be glad I can do this much  
Elena says: yeesh yeesh. be careful Reno! if thats all you can do...I'll call Tseng to find him  
Reno says: you know that with me bein with Rufus for so long, he knows all my weak spots  
Elena says: ..do I want to know?  
Reno says: like the knee that's been shot more times than can be counted.  
Elena says: oooooh...yeeeaaah.  
Reno says: I think I hear him, there's stuff breakin'  
Elena says: ...oh dear.  
Reno says: I ain't gonna go in, just push the laptop through the door . . . I'm scareda him when he's like this  
Elena says: anyone would be.  
Reno says: 'kay, good luck . . . I'm outta here  
Elena says: have fun.  
Rufus says: What do you want?  
Elena says: need to rant?  
Rufus says: Why not? breaking things is not helping me  
Elena says: rant away, sir  
Rufus says: Doesn't he realize I'm going to have to explain to the public why the hell I'm suddenly gaining weight?  
Rufus says: being pregnant is not exactly conductive to making the public fear me  
Elena says: No...but sir? I think I know why he did this  
Rufus says: why?  
Elena says: he wanted to keep the baby safe.  
Elena says: being a Turk isnt the best way to carry a child.  
Rufus says: . . . fuck.  
Elena says: see what I mean?  
Rufus says: **_sighs_** I've been a selfish idiot, haven't I?  
Elena says: Yeah, you have Rufus  
Rufus says: I should find him and cure him . . . I did some terrible things to him  
Elena says: he was squirming away last time I heard from him  
Rufus says: squir . . . shit. Well, remember this day . . . for once, Rufus Shinra was wrong.  
Elena says: well, we are only human  
Rufus says: . . . yes, and what a harsh reminder I had.  
Elena says: Yes. You really did  
Elena says: you fucked up, BAD. and you need to take care of that  
Rufus says: **_sigh_** yes, I know. Normally, I'd get mad at that, but I fucked up far too much to get mad at being told I fucked up  
Elena says: Well. what are you going to do about it, Rufus Shinra?  
Rufus says: this _is_ a laptop. I'm trying to find Reno  
Elena says: good idea  
Rufus says: **_winces, hearing soft sobs from under the bed_** shit . . . I fucked up royally this time  
Elena says: ...is Reno...crying!  
Rufus says: . . . yes . . .  
Elena says: Reno..._RENO_ is CRYING. a TURK. one of the ACES...is fucking SOBBING and is too afraid to come out from under the bed!  
Rufus says: **_slides to the ground_** fuck . . . I'm sorry . . . I'm so sorry . . . **_is saying this out loud too_**  
Elena says: better be trying to get Reno out from under there. you've got some work to do, Rufus.  
Rufus says: I am . . . I'm trying **_casts a mastered cure on Reno, hoping that might help even a little_** I wouldn't blame him if he wanted to leave. I was a monster  
Elena says: no. you were being a blind little fucking Prick. the monster was your father. your not him  
Rufus says: no, but it would be something he'd do . . . I let my anger blind me . . . I'm so stupid.  
Elena says: yes. yes you are. only difference. your father didnt care. now get your head out of your self-hating little ass and do what you need to, you prick!  
Rufus says: . . .  
Elena says: Idiot!! Reno doesnt hate you. he's scared YOUR gonna hate HIM because of this!  
Rufus says: . . . **_gulps, not caring about the tears streaming down his face_** i don't hate him. i love him more than anything in the world . . .  
Elena says: your gonna have to do more than just talk to him. your gonna have to do alot more, you know.  
Rufus says: **_nods_** i know . . . i owe him so much . . .  
Elena says: then start acting on it!  
Elena says: your not Rufus Shinra, President and boss of the Turks here and now. your Rufus Shinra, Reno's lover and someone who just seriously fucked up and needs to do something about it and stop with the useless self-hate. it isnt getting you nowhere  
Rufus says: . . . I owe some apologies to you and Rude too. I shouldn't have snapped and acted like a spoiled prick. I'm talking to Reno right now, trying make things better . . . thank you, also, for the slaps in the face, I needed them.  
Elena says: Yes. I think you did. and no worries Rufus. the only thing that really matters is helping Reno  
Rufus says: yes . . . my poor Neko-kun . . . my love . . .  
Elena says: well...it's better than super-emo-hate-self mood now...mutters  
Rufus says: . . .  
Elena says: it's true  
Rufus says: yes, I know, and if you'll pardon me for a minute, I need to talk with Ren-kun . . . I can't do that on a laptop  
Elena says: **_nodds_**  
Reno says: **_leans over_** what'ja do, 'Lena? I ain't never seen Ruphy like this  
Elena says: ...Look above.  
Elena says: I sorta handed his ass to him on chat  
Reno says: damn girl? didja have ta ream him that bad? emo is kinda bad memories for him . . .  
Elena says: yeah. but if I didnt, he'd be even worse off right now.  
Reno says: yeah . . . I don't know what I would have done left under there for too much longer. I really thought I was gonna get kicked out, and my ring taken away, all that shit  
Elena says: he was more or less afraid of you leaving and hating him  
Reno says: hate him? why would I?  
Elena says: because he acted like his father and hurt you so badly  
Reno says: but I kept secrets from him, which I know he hates, and this was a pretty big secret  
Elena says: yeah. but I was to protect the baby. and he didnt relize that  
Reno says: **_smiles_** yeah, our baby . . . **_gets stupid look on face and puts a hand on Ruphy's belly_**  
Elena says: so. everything good now?  
Reno says: yeah . . . we're good.  
Elena says: **_sighs in relief_** thats awesome  
Reno says: although if you were to hear us, you'd prolly puke  
Elena says: Yeah. I dont even want to _guess_  
Reno says: it's starting to get to me too. time ta stop  
Elena says: Lol  
Reno says: oh, and you an Rude got raises, just so ya know  
Elena says:**_ raises eyebrows_** What!  
Reno says: hehehe, ya like?  
Elena says: Yeha...thats kool...but what spurred that on?  
Rufus says: If it weren't for you, Elena, I wouldn't have realized how much of an ass I was being, and might have truly ruined the only thing that made me happy.  
Rufus says: and as you are connected to Rude, it would be cruel of me not to give him one as well  
Elena says: Oh. no prob, boss.**_ smiles_**  
Rufus says: I imagine you had fun doing it too  
Elena says: no...I was kinda...pissed...so I didnt really have the thought to have _fun_ with it  
Rufus says: looking back, you probably will. And Reno blushed at the thought of you pissed off for him  
Elena says: of course I would be...we're all a family, right?  
Rufus says: it would seem so. won't the recruits be surprised at familial interaction . . . **_smirks_**  
Elena says: Theyre so clueless theyre surprised if we hit a roundhouse kick correctly  
Reno says: yep, that's true too, 'Laney.  
Elena says: dont I know it...I hate traning them. good thing you have them all next month Reno  
Reno says: ugh. does this mean I get to keep prodding them with my emr, see who faints too soon?  
Elena says: ask the boss. he sets the limits on what we can do to 'em  
Reno says: right now? are you sure? you know anything I ask, I'm gettin . . .  
Elena says: **_shrugs_** I never said **_now_** i just said, ask **_him_** for limits. not me  
Reno says: yeah, that's true.  
Elena says: yeaup. now Rude's smirking at me for unknown reasons.  
Reno says: I wonder why . . . **_grinz_**  
Elena says: I dont know but it's creeping me_ out_  
Reno says: partner, I think this'd be a good time ta . . . y'know . . . anyways ya can't keep it a secret forever  
Rude says: **_reaches over couch_** shuddup Reno...I'll ask her when I think it's right  
Elena says: Ask me _what!_  
Rude says: nothing 'Lena  
Elena says: it's not NOTHING  
Elena says: Tell me!  
Reno says: **_laughs_** can't tell ya 'Lena  
Rude says: no  
Elena says: YES  
Rude says: no  
Elena says: shuddup Reno  
Rude says: no  
Elena says: yes  
Rude says: no  
Elena says:yes  
Rude says: no  
Elena says: yeessssssss  
Rude says: noooooo  
Elena says: yes  
Rude says: no  
Elena says: yes  
Rufus says: you won't get her to leave you alone now, Rude. Take my advice on that. She didn't leave me alone, did she?  
Rude says: no  
Elena says: Rude!  
Rude says: fine  
Rude says: Excuse us for one moment  
Rufus says: of course  
Reno says: what was that odd shriek? of happiness?  
Elena says: Eeek! omgomgomgomg!  
Reno says: that was _you_ 'Laney?  
Reno says: You're half a building down from us!  
Rude says: _**reached over Elena**_ Yes. it was her  
Reno says: are you deaf yet, Rude?  
Rude says: no. I'll live  
Reno says: so . . . are you coherent yet, 'Laney?  
Rude says: shes hugging me still, grinning the biggest grin I have ever seen on her  
Reno says: she can grin wider than I've seen?  
Rude says: Yeah...like I said...biggest grin I've ever seen **_sends pic_**  
Reno says: Holy crapola, how is that not breaking her face?  
Rude says: _**shrugs**_ she looks cute with it  
Reno says: yeah, I'm sure you're enjoying it  
Rude says: I most assuredly am  
Rufus says: I would say, from the sound of that shriek we heard all the way up here, that if you haven't gotten a clear word yes yet, you can assume that's the answer  
Rude says: well. no shit. I would think so_** smirks**_  
Rufus says: I'm sure even with the clear implication, she will eventually start repeating said word over and over again  
Elena says: no. I'm happy just hugging Rude, really  
Elena says: and thats what the shreik was  
Reno says: we figured, 'Laney  
Elena says: _**grins**_  
Reno says: well, actually Rude told us, but we figured why when he did  
Elena says: oh reallly?  
Reno says: yep. we knew. both of us did  
Elena says: ...you suck  
Rufus says: If it makes you feel any better, Elena, I did help him choose between two rings . . .**_ smirks_**  
Elena says: you did? _**looks at ring**_ you gave him the best opinion then  
Rude says: Hey!  
Rufus says: traditional is nice, but I knew that wouldn't be the best in this case. much like our rings  
Elena says: **_laughs_** none of us are even really...traditional...we're Turks.  
Reno says: ain't that the truth  
Elena says: you think?  
Elena says: lol  
Reno says: we're going to have some interesting weddings coming up, that's for sure  
Elena says: oh..yeah..thats for sure  
Reno says: we still gotta pick a date . . . LOL  
Elena says: Lol. you guys first  
Rufus says: well . . . considering, we wouldn't have to wait nearly as long as other couples . . . how about next week?  
Reno says: sounds good to me, babe  
Elena says: Awesome!  
Reno says: I think we're gonna fry dothead's brain with this one  
Elena says: ...fun!  
Reno says: . . . we should each poke his dot on that day. LOL  
Elena says: As we're going by!  
Reno says: perfect!  
Elena says: Yes! ..Rude's looking at me like i've gone crazy  
Reno says: he's gotta do it too, or it won't be right  
Elena says: he sighed and nodded  
Reno says: sooo . . . where are we gonna do this?  
Elena says: **_shrugs_**  
Reno says: easiest place would prolly be somewhere in the building . . .  
Elena says: What do you think, sir?  
Rufus says: I imainge so, although I do believe the Forgotten City would be far more picturesque  
Elena says: I like it!  
Elena says: only thing is.  
Reno says: Yeah, can't do that one, I heard from Vinnie what happened to dothead and 'Laney there . . . maybe somewhere else, Ruffie  
Elena says: ...please.  
Rufus says: alright, any other suggestions?  
Elena says: what about Wutai?  
Rufus says: that sounds like a good idea. I'll send someone to secure a location  
Elena says: **_grins_** thank Rude for that suggestion!  
**_xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx_**  
Reno says: Heya buddy  
Rude says: sup Reno  
Reno says: notta whole lot  
Rude says: same. Elena's passed out tho  
Reno says: what's she so tired from?  
Rude says: eh. Tseng had us running around all over the place  
Reno says: that sucks  
Rude says: yeah it does  
Reno says: oh, cuz bossman an I can't decide who goes down that long walk first, we're all gonna parade down at once, that cool with ya?  
Rude says: fine with me. Elena just did a 'whatever'  
Reno says: an we're gonna sit dothead on the left. Dunno why, but it'll be handy ta know, right?  
Rude says: yeah. where to poke.  
Reno says: hehehe, I bet they'll hafta cart him away for passin' out or somethin  
Rude says: yuap. lol  
Reno says: It'll be one of many highlights to the day.  
Elena says: yeatfghjyrGF you think?  
Rufus says: **_laughs_** You have an interesting way of announcing your takeover of the laptop, Elena  
Elena says: **_grins_**  
Rufus says: Of course, Reno has done that to me too, so I can't complain  
Elena says: yeah. many times  
Rufus says: I prefer it more when he distracts me into letting him type . . .  
Reno says: **_distracts Ruffie_** like this? LOL  
Elena says: **_snickers_**  
Rufus says: Yes, Reno, like that.  
Reno says: hehe, he's rollin' his eyes an grinnin at me  
Elena says: of course he is  
Reno says: but at least there won't be any more huge fights . . . communication is gettin' better  
Elena says: thats good  
Reno says: yeah, don't wanna deal with that kinda mess no more  
Elena says: nooo. you think  
Reno says: . . .  
Elena says: what.  
Reno says: sarcasm about that kind of thing . . . not a good thing there . . .  
Rufus says: . . . That, is scary. Reno being serious.  
Elena says: I know. still  
Reno says: I think it still hangs a bit heavy over us right now, is all  
Elena says: yeah.  
Reno says: no offense 'Laney, ya know?  
Elena says: yeah no prob...wtf are you DOING Rude  
Reno says: hehehe, what_ is_ he doin? **_grins_**  
Elena says: I...dont know.  
Reno says: Yo, partner, what'cha up to?  
Elena says: he's...reading...and writing in the book?  
Reno says: what kinda book is it?  
Elena says: no idea...it's in a language i dont know.  
Reno says: huh . . . I dunno what ta tell ya, 'Laney  
Elena says: your the one whose been his partner for, what? 9 years?  
Reno says: yeah, but I dunno what languages he's got, I never bothered ta ask  
Elena says: dammit...and he aint tellin' me nothing  
Reno says: Secrets ain't a good thing, partner . . . take it from us  
Rude says: He dshPIDFUHEF  
Rude says: I'll tell her in a minute. I'm trying to find something  
Reno says: alrighty, just wanna make sure ya don't mess nothin up  
Rude says:**_ nodds_**  
Reno says: hope it's somethin' good  
Elena says: He's still reading.  
Reno says: don't mean I can't hope, right?  
Elena says: yeah...I'm hoping too  
Reno says: I don't think he'd do nothin ta hurtcha  
Elena says: no. I dont think so. heh. he's smiling. so thats a good thing  
Reno says: wow . . . he smiles . . . **_snickers_**  
Rude says: whats that supposed to mean, Partner?  
Reno says: just that ya don't do that real often, ya know?  
Rude says: che. lol  
Reno says: what, I can't pick atcha?  
Rude says: maybe  
Reno says: ah well. ya find a dress yet, 'Laney? or ya gonna even wear one?  
Elena says: **_shrugs_**  
Reno says: hey, I'm dressin' up. an you know I don't do that often  
Elena says: **_twitches_** who are you and what have you done with Reno!  
Reno says: **_cracks up laughing hysterically_** I AM Reno, and I am happy, so I do things for the man I love  
Elena says: still...Reno, I know doesnt dress up worth shit...**_blinking rapidly_**  
Reno says: you seen the outfit he picked out for me yet, 'Laney? I wouldn't wanna mess it up  
Reno says: . . . until later  
Elena says: no...I havent.  
Elena says: and I dont wanna know, thanks  
Reno says: lemme show you the outfit, we had someone take a pic of us  
Reno says: all dressed up  
Elena says: orly?  
Reno says: yup  
Elena says: still cant see you dressed up Reno  
Reno says: you will  
Elena says: should I be scared?  
Rufus says: He actually looks rather nice in his outfit  
Elena says: **_blinks_** I still need to see it to believe it  
Reno says: here, take a look at this - **_link moved to my Bio _**what'd I tell ya  
Elena says: **_falls out of chair_**  
Reno says: ?  
Reno says: an yeah, my hair was brushed too  
Rude says: What did you do, Reno?  
Reno says: I showed 'Laney that pic a me an Ruffie in our wedding gear  
Rude says: oooohhh. no wonder she fell outta the chair. it's tipped over and shes blinking rapidly  
Rude says: sitting on her ass on the floor  
Reno says: **_laughing at 'Laney_**  
Rufus says: Yes, Reno does clean up nicely  
Rude says: surprisingly, seeing how he comes to work  
Reno says: it's so I can get reactions like that outta people  
Elena says: suuuree.  
Rufus says: Blame me then. Call it a good influence  
Elena says: well. then, yes. I blame you, boss  
Rufus says: thank you. I like thinking I can be a good influence on my favorite Turk  
Elena says: for once, someone's a good influence. thats good in of it's self  
Rufus says: I doubt anyone else could have achieved that  
Elena says: **_is still blinking_** nope. your just speciel like that sir  
Rufus says: of course. I am the only one that he has ever completely fallen for  
Elena says: good thing too  
Rufus says: yes . . . I wouldn't have allowed him to have any other type of interoffice relationship  
Reno says: HEY!  
Elena says: **_shrugs_** you cant really complain, red  
Reno says: no . . . but . . . wait, you had this planned the whole time I worked for ya, didn'tcha bossman?  
Rufus says: **_smirks_**  
Elena says: Go, Boss!  
Rude says: **_grins_**  
Reno says: I'm not sure being manipulated is such a good thing . . .  
Reno says: **_looks at Ruffie_** but who cares?  
Elena says: hey, it's the boss...he can do what he wants. lol  
Reno says: yup. that's the truth  
Elena says: **_laughs_**  
Reno says: hell, he knows I'd crawl over broken glass an hot coals for 'im  
Elena says: Yeah. I'm sure he does**_ smiles_**  
Rufus says: You're supposed to, Reno. You are a Turk.  
Elena says: oooh. PWND  
Reno says: **_pouts_**  
Rufus says: But then again, I would do the same for you, Ren-kun  
Elena says: and that is why your together  
Reno says: Yep**_ is grinning like a fool_**  
Elena says: You're always grinning like a fool, Reno  
Rude says: and I shall dub thee 'Jester-Face' for no apparent reason other than his ridiculous 24/7 grin  
Elena says: good one Rude  
Reno says: then I shall dub thee 'stoneface' due to your lack of expression  
Rude says: Spiderman-wannabe  
Reno says: Mute  
Rude says: chee-zit stealer  
Reno says: coffee addict  
Rude says: proud of it drunkie  
Reno says: look who's talkin, you drank me under the table.  
Reno says: alluvya  
Rude says: **_grins_**  
Rude says: its a new species! the ten-toed, mullet-Sloth!  
Reno says: often known to hang out with the hairless malamute  
Rude says: dont you mean mammoth?  
Rude says: freaking rat  
Reno says: swiss cheese ears  
Rude says: they match your knee  
Reno says: at least people don't argue over my nationality  
Rude says: at least people dont doubt my gender  
Reno says: I could say something, but that'd be dissing my Ruffie too, so no.  
Reno says: 'least people can see my eyes  
Rude says: at least I can shoot the target  
Reno says: and I don't get fried by bolt  
Rude says: at least a kid didnt try to rip out my sinuses  
Reno says: and I didn't get knocked stupid by a sign  
Rude says: but I didnt get thrown through the air by a freaking sephi-clone  
Reno says: yeah you did, you liar  
Reno says: that short haired one threw you  
Rude says: not as much as you. you fell on me constantly  
Reno says: One time, dude  
Rude says: no. twice. the punch one counts  
Reno says: oh yeah, and thanks for the shoulder up when I was headin to rescue Ruffie  
Rude says: ...you kicked me off the wall you ass  
Reno says: didn't want you to get to him first. he's mine!  
Rufus says: Posessive much, Reno?  
Rude says: ...I know that...**_blinks_**  
Elena says: geezuz Red  
Rude says: freaking stop light  
Reno says: Yes, I am. MINE! **_latches onto Ruffie_**  
Reno says: yeah, as in a warnin not ta mess with me  
Rude says: suuuuuuuure. or a target for enemies.  
Elena says: or fangirls  
Reno says: a really small, fast target. I ain't a huge hulk like you  
Reno says: oh gods . . . fangirls . . . ugh  
Rude says: i move fast for my size. you know that  
Elena says: faaannnnngggiiirrrllllss  
Rufus says: **_eyetwitch_** Where? **_reaches under coat for shotgun_**  
Elena says: Kidding, sir.  
Reno says: oopsies, 'Laney . . .  
Rude says: shes laughing her ass off  
Reno says: looks like I ain't the only posessive one  
Elena says: no. you think?  
Reno says: ngh . . . ow. you got sharp teeth, Ruffie  
Elena says: **_stops laughing_** do I wanna know?  
Rufus says: Staking my claim. Where it's visible  
Elena says: neck?  
Rufus says: Of course. It's possibly the most exposed area during work  
Elena says: good idea sir.  
Rufus says: Although don't you have less areas to work with?  
Elena says: yeah. thats why I steal his jacket constantly  
Rufus says: So that is why you often seem to drown in your jacket  
Elena says: yup!  
Rufus says: . . . hmm, copper. Perhaps I've bitten too hard  
Elena says: niiice.  
Elena says: thats gonna stay awhile  
Rufus says: ah well, It will just be that much clearer that Reno is off limits  
Elena says: yeah  
Elena says: poor Reno. **_grins_**  
Rufus says: Perhaps I should stop soon . . . wouldn't want to ruin some fun later  
Elena says: probably. lol  
Elena says: Rude's glaring at me.  
Rufus says: Oh? and why is that?  
Elena says: you know those 'hello my name is...' stickers?  
Rufus says: yes?  
Elena says: I sortof wrote 'LENA'S PROPERTY on it and stuck it on his forehead  
Rufus says: Nice move, Elena  
Elena says: yes. I know. lol  
Reno says: **_twitching_** vampires . . . I swear . . .  
Rude says: and SOMEONE has a thing for putting 'Hello my name is..' stickers on me with weird sayings  
Rude says: latest one says 'Hello, my name is MAMMOTH-MAN!!' .  
Reno says: **_cracks up laughing_** but it's true!  
Rude says: shuddup vampire-bait  
Reno says: I love my vampire. quite literally.  
Elena says: and we're quite sure you do! LOL **_putting more stickers on Rude_**  
Reno says: you enjoy that, I'm having my own brand of fun  
Elena says: ...I am not gonna ask  
Rufus says: Good . . . idea . . . Elena . . .  
Elena says: oo  
Reno says: hehehe, you get weirded out?  
Elena says: no...not really...more like 'wtf'  
Reno says: well . . . what'd ya think would happen, me bein' gnawed on like that?  
Elena says: touche  
Reno says: any new nicknames, 'Laney?  
Elena says: horn-dog  
Elena says: or should i say, cat?  
Reno says: for him, or me?  
Elena says: both  
Reno says: lol  
Reno says: I know  
Reno says: or can guess  
Elena says: **_rolls eyes and grins_**  
Reno says: or something like that  
Elena says: and shuddup Reno. I know what your thinking  
Reno says: well shit, I ain't inta your man like that, so how would I know?  
Elena says: still. I know what your thinking  
Reno says: yeah . . . you know me well enough and stuff  
Elena says: ...I can hear you from 5 floors down.  
Reno says: hehehe, can't help that we're energetic . . .  
Elena says: Rude's wondering 'wtf'  
Reno says: he can't figure it out? oh well.  
Elena says: oh he knows...we just heard...something very loud out of nowhere.  
Reno says: sorry 'bout that . . . kinda  
Elena says: no your not  
Reno says: yeah, you're right.  
Elena says: I always am when it comes to you two, usually  
Elena says: gah. I'm getting off and letting you two do your stuff. goo'bey  
_**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**_  
Reno says: hey Buddy  
Rude says: sup  
Reno says: this that and the other, so on and so forth. LOL  
Rude says: indeed.  
Reno says: so anything new with your girl?  
Rude says: shes...being moodier than normal.  
Reno says: moodier? hehehe. really . . .  
Rude says: **_quirks eyebrow_** what  
Reno says: what've you two been doin' that might get her all moody like that?**_ grinz_**  
Rude says: I dont know what your talking about.  
Reno says: hehehe. Nevermind, nevermind. at least you don't gotta deal with morning sickness  
Elena says: **_pushes Rude to the side and winces_** ouch. it's starting up already?  
Reno says: yeah . . . I think _someone_ went down to the science floor and asked if there was any way to speed the thing up Elena says: oh...grreaaaat.  
Elena says: Rude, go away for a lil.  
Rude says: Why?  
Elena says: Just do it!  
Reno says: hey, we're not supposedta be doin what bossman's doin, so we're gonna be impatient, ya know?  
Elena says: Reeennnoooo? You know I can talk to you about anything, right?  
Reno says: yeah  
Elena says: I just found something out...it scares me too.  
Reno says: ahahaha! you gonna be doin' like Ruffie?  
Reno says: I got that impression once Rude said you were gettin' moody  
Elena says: umm...except...I'm 7 months pregnant  
Elena says: I was starting to wonder why my unfiform was getting tight  
Reno says: holy hell 'Laney! how do you not notice that?  
Reno says: what, you just thought you were eatin' too much?  
Elena says: umm...I didnt really gain much weight...it was more the strange 24/7 pms that set my curiosity off  
Reno says: damn . . . so ya gonna tell 'im? or ya gonna wait until you gotta go in and pop it out?  
Elena says: i-I dunno what to do!!**_ tears buld up_**  
Reno says: whoa whoa whoa! I got enough crying here. Hold up. lemme think  
Reno says: whoa . . . two preggies comin' to me to cry . . . shit, am I that good a listener?  
Elena says: yes.  
Reno says: anyways, ya really should tell 'im . . . I mean, it is his, right?  
Reno says: hehe**_ blushes_**  
Elena says: yeah...dont ask me how this happened. I have no fucking clue...**_sweatdrop_** and we just got together a month or so ago.  
Reno says: well how does it usually happen with het couples?  
Reno says: sorry, but it kinda had ta be said  
Reno says: but if it's really weird, like, you're suddenly so far along and ya ain't done nothing that long ago . . . ask Hojo, he's the science freak  
Elena says: you may never know...there are those nights where you dont know what the fuck your doing.  
Reno says: yeah, such as when ya get drunk n stuff  
Elena says: yeaaahh.  
Elena says: **_slams head into desk_** ehhhhhhhh...I dont know how Rude's gonna reaaaacccttt.  
Reno says: you want my 'pinion, since I've known him longer, don'cha?  
Elena says: ...**_sniffs and nodds_**  
Reno says: He'll probably sit there for a moment starin, then ask, real quiet like "I'm gonna be a father?" then you're gonna get crushed in a hug. That's what I know of 'im  
Elena says: _**sniffs**_  
Reno says: he'll be really happy, trust me  
Elena says: If I could, I would hug you right now.  
Reno says: hehe, you're welcome, 'Laney. I been learnin a lot more coping  
Elena says: yeah. we've all had a weird week, huh  
Reno says: hehe, no shit. you gonna call him back in an tell 'im now?  
Elena says: In a minute...**_sniff_** once I stop **_sniff_** crying  
Reno says: happy tears, I hope  
Elena says: Yeah! after all, I'm gonna be a mom!  
Reno says: yup. you can share horror stories with bossman 'bout pregnancy pains  
Elena says: **_snorts on amusement_**  
Reno says: sometimes I get the random "you did this to me!" while he's bein sick  
Elena says: yeah. That happens.  
Reno says: I'm lucky he's got short hair though . . . I'da had ta fish my tail outta the john every time  
Elena says: **_snickers at the thought_** thats why I'm glad my hair was relitively short when I had morning sickness every few days  
Elena says: didnt know it was morning sickness tho  
Reno says: thought it was a stomach bug?  
Elena says: yup  
Reno says: **_headpalm_** an did it go away during the day, or were you onea them that got it all day long?  
Elena says: it was literally, 'Morning sickness' I was fine after a puked once or twice  
Reno says: sometimes I wonder 'bout ya, 'Laney . . .  
Elena says: why?  
Reno says: You woulda thought that would be suspicious  
Elena says: **_shrugs_** something was going around everytime it happened  
Reno says: that's some weird coincidence  
Elena says: no. you think?  
Reno says: if only I coulda done that with bossman, weird coincidences. But that woulda just ended badly  
Elena says: yeah.  
Reno says: course, it wasn't a great time for us anyways, but we got stronger because of it  
Elena says: yeah. thankfully  
Reno says: hell yeah, I couldn't manage without 'im  
Elena says: you'd go insane without him. I know.  
Elena says: by the way. you think your's is gonna be a girl or boy?  
Rufus says: **_grumbling and wiping mouth clean_** with a handkerchief if I have any say in it, it'll be a boy. This is for an heir, you know  
Reno says: nah, I'm thinkin girl, cuz I seen enough pregger women  
Reno says:**_ gets glared at_**  
Elena says: yeah. but wouldnt' it be more of a twist if it were a girl?  
Elena says: and poor boss  
Reno says: yeah. I think it'd be fun ta dress her up.  
Reno says: **_grins at Ruffie's cute, slightly fuller cheeks_** I wanna pinch 'em  
Elena and Rude says: **_cracks up as Rude leans over her _**whats going on now?  
Rufus says: I suppose it could be interesting, and if you do, I will get mad  
Reno says: We're talkin' about what gender we think our kid's gonna be  
Elena says: oonnnneee sec.  
Reno says: hehehe, good luck 'Laney.  
Rude says: what are you tal-  
Elena says: I'm pregnant and your the father  
Rude says: ...what?  
Reno says: congrats, partner. **_laughs_**  
Rude says: one sec. Red.  
Reno says: **_laughs even harder_**  
Rufus says: So you're telling me that I'm not the only one suffering through this torture?  
Elena says: guess something good came out of getting drunk 7 moths ago. and yes boss. I'm going through what you are. except I'm most likely delivering much earlier than you  
Rufus says: You'll still be hearing about it  
Elena says: I know  
Rufus says: Because your body is intended for this, mine is not  
Elena says: Lol. Well. Rude wants to celebrate so we have to go  
Reno says: Right, no drinkin' now - I keep gettin' griped at cuz Ruffie can't drink either  
Elena says: Yeah. I know...dammit, I want some jet fuel.  
Reno says: so does he


	5. bad recipes and WHO IS THAT?

**Don't own 'em, but they sure are fun to play with!!**

We've got it all in this chapter - it's fast paced and fun, so enjoy

Raella belongs to my friend, Mik-san

* * *

Elena says: why cant we drink again?  
Reno says: uhhh, cause of kids?  
Elena says: f.u.c.k  
Elena says: wait. SHIT  
Reno says: drinking contest . . . damn  
Elena says: oh dear.  
Elena says: **_hits head on dessk_**  
Reno says: let's hope nothin' bad happens?  
Reno says: hell, I've even been cuttin' back . . .  
Elena says: Oo  
Reno says: what?  
Elena says: . . .  
Elena says: who are you and what have you done with Reno  
Reno says: **_laughs_** it's called supporting my bossman and mother to our child  
Elena says: Boss is gonna kick your ass if he hears you call him that, you know  
Reno says: yeah, I know. but it's fun to think of him as 'mommy'  
Elena says: **_snickers_** where is our esteemed 'boss-mom?  
Reno says: he's sleeping. all worn out from the the kid  
Elena says: poor thing  
Reno says: yeah. I feel for him  
Elena says: **_sigh_** I have some tea that works with the morning sickness.  
Reno says: oh, that'll help him  
Elena says: you think?  
Reno says: sorry, I'm kinda worried, ya know?  
Reno says: daddy jitters  
Elena says: it's ok...shit...now Rude and you aren't gonna let me and Rufus do anything.  
Reno says: nope  
Elena says: ...fuck.  
Elena says: though I've already been on missions being pregnant?  
Reno says: I ain't gonna lie to ya . . . you should know me better than that  
Reno says: yeah, before we knew  
Reno says: now that we know . . .  
Elena says: still...I could still do them!  
Reno says: we aren't going to let you endanger your kid  
Elena says: **_glares_**  
Reno says: I ain't letting Ruffie endager ours either  
Elena says: lord knows he might accidentally  
Reno says: oh, no, no more jumping out of buildings  
Elena says: after all, jumping off buildings isn't really good for a kid  
Reno says: it was bad enough for my nerves, now with the kid, hell no  
Elena says: I'm still gonna go on missions.  
Rude says: No your not  
Elena says: Rude! bu-  
Rude says: No  
Elena says: But!  
Rude says: no  
Elena says: I was doing them for the past 7 mon-  
Rude says: no  
Elena says: Ru-  
Rude says: no  
Reno says: don't make me tell dothead . . .  
Elena says: Like I care what he thinks  
Reno says: remember, he still leads us  
Elena says: I don't give a flying fuck  
Reno says: he'll keep you in the office for months, even after  
Elena says: **_twitch_** watch me  
Reno says:**_ looks over shoulder_** or I could grab some of the shackles we keep around . . .  
Elena says: don't even try pissing off a pregnant woman even more Reno  
Reno says: I know all about pissing off pregnant people, trust me. I'd rather coerce you into agreeing, but if I have to . . .  
Elena says: you'll have to what glares  
Reno says: I'll get down the shackles . . . bossbabe'll be mad that I used them other than for us, but I will  
Elena says: **_twitch twitch twitch twitch_**  
Rufus says:**_ glares sleepily at the screen_** I know exactly how you feel, Elena. However, you are not going on any of the strenuous missions.  
Rufus says: Just as I will keep from jumping out of buildings  
Elena says: or try to...hows the morning sickness?  
Rufus says: Terrible. if I could keep something down at all I would be at least a bit happier  
Elena says: I have some tea that works wonders  
Rufus says: I would be grateful.  
Elena says: I'll give some to you next time I see you or Reno  
Elena says: drink it, let it sit for about an hour then you should be able to eat a little. dont eat too much though  
Rufus says: at least I'll be able to eat again. I get the feeling that souffles won't be on the menu for a while  
Elena says: noooo. not a good idea till after your completely over the morning sickness...stay away from most sweets. trust me  
Rufus says: damn. as long as I won't be forced to eat pizza  
Elena says: ehh. I don't really care for it either  
Rufus says: I don't mind a good foccacia, but pizza is revolting  
Elena says: oh. Yum! especially when it's topped with mozzarella and basil  
Rufus says: yes, and perhaps with garlic and anchovies. I probably can't have that either  
Elena says: anchovies? ...ew...no offence...but at least wait till the morning sickness is completely gone, which should be in the 4th or so month or pregnancy, before having stuff like that  
Reno says: Oh geez, girl talk **_hands Ruffie a loaf of soda bread_**  
Rude says: You know it **_leaves to go make Elena tea_**  
Rufus says: **_glares at Reno_** who are you calling a girl?  
Rude says: uh-oh.  
Reno says: I don't mean you're a girl, Ruffie, just that this talk is what girls talk about  
Elena says: he has a point there boss  
Rufus says: that may be true, but . . . **_grumbles irritably, conceding the point_**  
Elena says: anyway. anythin else you need advice on or something?  
Rufus says: when do I get my internal organs abused, and is there any way to stop it?  
Elena says: actually. no...there isn't...I remember reading this somewhere...but the back kicking doesn't hurt your internal organs...doesn't even hurt...**_looks at stomach_**  
Rufus says: perhaps to the female body, but do remember, I am not female  
Elena says: yeah. but I know the basis of what happened to you for this to happen. so it should be similar  
Rufus says:**_ sighs_** I'm just glad that there was a way to accelerate the process  
Elena says: ...what did you do?  
Rufus says: it's completely safe. I consulted Hojo about it. He knows that if it's not, he will die  
Elena says: nice.  
Elena says: at least you didnt have to go 7 months not even knowing.  
Rufus says: that is true, but at least you will only have two months left  
Elena says: those are supposed to be the worst  
Rufus says: and why is that?  
Elena says: you don't decide when the baby comes. it does  
Rufus says: Lovely. I can only imagine it bursting forth out of my stomach now. Thank you.  
Elena says: anytime sir  
Rufus says: Why did I agree to this again?  
Elena says: because you Love Reno  
Rufus says: . . .  
Rufus says: Yes, I suppose I do  
Elena says: Yes. I'm sorry. I know what you mean  
Rufus says: I can only hope that Hojo did in fact shorten the length of time as effectively as I wanted him to  
Elena says: we won't know till the baby comes  
Reno says: **_pulls Ruffie into his lap and holds him_** Even if it took the full nine months, I'd still stick with ya, no matter what  
Rude says: **_sits Elena in his lap _**and I'm with you no matter what.  
Rufus says:**_ leans back against Reno_** we are pretty lucky mothers, Elena  
Elena says: **_snuggles into Rude_** I would think so  
Reno says: does this mean I can call you momma Rufus now? **_grins_**  
Elena says: **_snickers_**  
Rufus says: Don't push it, Reno  
Reno says: alright, wifey.  
Elena says:**_ cracks up_**  
Rufus says: **_glares at Reno_** you're lucky I love you  
Elena says: hey..and it's kinda true.  
Rufus says: That is one of a few reasons I am not getting too upset over it. However, I was still the one that proposed . . .  
Reno says: You're still my uke, and carrying our child, wifey  
Elena says:**_ mutters_** go, Reno.  
Rufus says: if you insist, Ren-chan  
Elena says: petnames, petnames, everywhere.  
Reno says: and yet you have none. why not, 'Laney?  
Elena says: **_shrugs_** never thought of using any  
Reno says: I see . . . but then again, you can't really make Rude's name 'cute'  
Elena says: actually. you can...I just dont feel like using that against him yet  
Reno says: LOL, it must be embarrassing  
Rude says: don't ask partne-  
Elena says: Ru-kun!  
Rude says: ...dammit  
Reno says:**_ cracks up laughing_**  
Rude says: shuddup.  
Elena says: Ru-kun...get me more tea? please?  
Rufus says: **_snickering, keeping a tight grip on Reno's arms so he doesn't fall off_**  
Elena says: He got me more tea. yum.  
Rufus says: So well trained. Reno?  
Reno says: yes wifey . . . **_heads down to pick up some of the tea_**  
Elena says: very well trained  
Rufus says: isn't it nice having well trained guys around?  
Elena says: yes. especially when they can get you more tea  
Rufus says: or go to pick up some  
Elena says: yus  
Elena says: **_throws box of teabags in Reno's face_**  
Rufus says: I take it you don't want him to visit for too long?  
Elena says: no. he needs to make you your tea  
Rufus says: That is true. He'd best hurry home.  
Elena says: I believe he went running  
Rufus says: Good. **_looks over at the door and raises an eyebrow_**  
Elena says: what?  
Rufus says: he looks a bit stunned. And he's making my tea  
Elena says: **_laughs_** what? is he getting over my surprise attack of the teabags?  
Rufus says: yes, I do believe he wasn't expecting to be teabagged see author's note quite like that  
Elena says: he should've been...**_laughs_**  
Elena says: after all. he knows I like throwing stuff at him.  
Rufus says: True  
Rufus says: **_sips tea_** hmm, needs a little honey. Ren-kun?  
Elena says: we have them whipp'd, huh  
Reno says: I figured **_hands the honey to wifey_**  
Reno says: _**rolls eyes at 'Laney**_  
Elena says: **_grins_**  
Reno says: you're lucky you're pregnant, 'Laney  
Elena says: I guess I am. in more ways than one  
Reno says: I . . . am not sure I wanna know those other reasons  
Elena says: ...not like that, bakaaa  
Reno says: **_snickers_** I can't help it if that sort of stuff is always on my mind  
Elena says: **_rolls eyes_**  
Reno says: what? dothead's right when he thinks I'm a drunken, sex-craving slob. but I'm my wifey's drunken sex-craving slob  
Elena says: doesn't mean you need to eject those thoughts into a convo all the time.  
Rufus says: It's only when I don't let him eject those 'thoughts' into me that he feels the need to share with you  
Elena says: ...I feel so special.  
Rufus says: yes, you get all of his pent up desire when I won't let him let it out  
Rufus says: Aren't you thrilled?  
Elena says: oh, but of course...**_rolls eyes_**  
Reno says: Meh, now what? I'm bored.  
Elena says: Like hell I know.  
Reno says: . . . **_goes to cook some foccacia_**  
Elena says:**_ snickers _**I still remember the cookie incident  
Rufus says: It's so nice to have people who can cook for you. Yes, I'm sure you do, Elena  
Elena says: it was funny, what do you expect?  
Rufus says: **_dryly_** I'm sure  
Elena says: **_grins_**  
Rufus says: since saltines are fine for uneasy stomachs, I imagine I can eat salty foods too, correct?  
Elena says: ...I wouldn't if I were you.  
Rufus says: **_sighs_** fine. just olives and mozzarella then  
Elena says: **_sigh_** it's better for your stomach, Sir  
Rufus says:**_ calls to Reno_** I want that vanilla ice cream too. Bring it with the foccacia.  
Elena says: oh dear...**_chuckles_** the cravings are starting.  
Rufus says: Cravings? Explain  
Elena says: Ehhh...something my mom told me about when she was pregnant...she would get these weird cravings and that usually meant the baby was starting to grow faster  
Rufus says: And vanilla ice cream with olive and mozzarella foccacia is weird?  
Elena says: ...yes  
Rufus says: How so?  
Elena says: ...sir...it's ICE CREAM...with a MOZZARELLA AND OLIVE FOCCACIA...and that doesn't sound weird!  
Reno says: **_watches his wifey spread the ice cream on the foccacia_** excuse me . . . **_runs to the bathroom_**  
Elena says: eh...poor Reno...you see what I mean?  
Rufus says: Hm, I suppose it could be weird, but it tastes wonderful to me  
Elena says: ...**_shrugs_**  
Rufus says: I suppose I could have asked for stranger, but apparently I'm not allowed my anchovies yet  
Elena says: no your not  
Rufus says: **_grumbles_** what about capers?  
Elena says: your gonna make Reno sick if he keep watching you eat that kinda stuff.  
Elena says: No sir! nothing that can irritate your stomach!  
Rufus says: not even smoked salmon?  
Elena says: yes, that's ok  
Rufus says: Finally! something with a flavor I can enjoy!  
Elena says:**_ rolls eyes_**  
Rufus says: **_grabs some from the fridge and adds it to the foccacia_**  
Elena says: if it didnt have the ice cream on it, that would sound quite good right now  
Rufus says: **_mumbling_** gef yor own  
Elena says: I ate a while ago. I'm fine.  
Rufus says: I'm still hungry . . .  
Elena says: that's normal  
Rufus says: I want . . . cheese crackers. and anchovy paste. That I know is normal  
Elena says: _**sigh**_ try the paste then...don't say I didn't warn you if it makes your stomach worse.  
Reno says: he jumped up for joy and ran to the kitchen. at least this meal I ain't gonna blow chunks at  
Elena says: Yeah...sigh...now I want a garlic, butter and cheese sandwich.  
Reno says: that sounds pretty good, actually  
Elena says: I know! doesn't it?  
Reno says: yep  
Rude says: She just went running off to get her sandwich  
Reno says: I may hafta try that sometime  
Rude says: it aint bad...better than some of the shit she ate a while ago when we all thought she had a stomach bug  
Reno says: **_watches Rufus dip the crackers into cream cheese before adding the anchovy paste_** ok, that's getting a little weird. what did she eat then?  
Rude says: do you really wanna know?  
Reno says: what was it, chocolate covered pickles?  
Rude says: no.  
Rude says: cream cheese and chocolate ice cream on a garlic foccacia and minced garlic on top  
Reno says: wow  
Rude says: yeaah.  
Rufus says: looks over Ooo . . . I want that tomorrow, Ren-kun  
Reno says:**_ eyetwitch_**  
Elena says: _**sits on Rude with sandwich**_ it's actually pretty good when your in the mood for it  
Rufus says: I would say I'm in the mood for it now, but I'm enjoying my cheese crackers with cream cheese and anchovy paste too much  
Elena says: fun  
Reno says: I can't believe I'm going to be making that . . . whatever it is tomorrow  
Rude says: hey. I had to make it for her for two weeks  
Rufus says: That, would be food, Reno. And apparently cravings.  
Reno says: How'd ya keep your lunch down, buddy?  
Rude says: I didn't look at it  
Reno says: a little harder here . . . ya know?  
Rude says: Yeah. I know  
Reno says: why'd I hafta be some kinda chef or somethin?  
Elena says: because Boss isn't allowed to cook  
Reno says: if I didn't know how ta cook, we woulda hired someone  
Elena says: yup  
Reno says: so why'd I hafta learn how?  
Elena says: because you wanted to eat  
Reno says: I coulda ordered out, why am I an idiot like that?  
Elena says: hey. dont ask me. your the one who wanted freaking cooking lessons  
Reno says: **_grumbles, crossing arms and pouts_**  
Elena says: **_grins_** your fault Red  
Rufus says: But I love your cooking, Ren-chan **hugs and kisses the adorable pout**  
Reno says: aw, ok.**_ blushes_**  
Elena says: more flufftasticalness  
Reno says: yeah yeah, like you guys would never mush it up yourselves  
Elena says: grins Ru-kun's too shy  
Reno says: I bet. or y'all just don't post it  
Elena says: yeah. because I don't feel like it  
Reno says: someday, you will.  
Elena says: sure...and woooowww Reno...nice girly hair **_smirking at pic_**  
Reno says: I am not responsible for my hair when it's wet!  
Reno says: why do ya think I like to stay dry?  
Elena says: but your responsible for how long it is  
Reno says: it was your sister suggested I grow the thing out  
Elena says: Gun did?!  
Reno says: yup. so you wanna blame someone, blame her  
Elena says: ...oh.  
Rufus says: And I thank her for it every day. You should be proud of her, Elena.  
Elena says: I am. after all., she was my inspiration to go into Turks  
Rufus says: And we're glad you did.  
Elena says: **_grins_** I know. You can't live without me  
Reno says: HAH! I can't live without wifey, I tolerate you cuz my buddy can't live without ya  
Elena says: oh. You'd know you'd miss me if I left  
Reno says: yeah, cuz then I'd have an emo partner  
Elena says:**_ laughs_**  
Reno says: prolly never get him to talk again  
Elena says: Ohh...**_grabs Rude's shirt and kisses him_** I think he's fine  
Reno says: hehehe, yeah, I bet  
Elena says:**_ laughs_**  
Reno says: He's prolly real happy havin ya 'round . . . specially with the new addition to ya  
Elena says: **_grins_** I sure hope so!  
Rude says: I sure am **_holds Elena_**  
Reno says: awww, how cute!  
Rude says: Shuddup Red **_blushes_**  
Reno says: hehehe, but it is! we don't get to see you two be cute often  
Elena says: **_sticks out tongue_**  
Reno says: hey, that's my thing! get your own! **_sticks out tongue_**  
Elena says: Nyah!!**_ sticks out tongue_**  
Rufus says: Alright children. Is this what I'm going to have to deal with once this child is born?  
Rude says: ...yes  
Elena says: hey! so will I!  
Rufus says:**_ looks down at abdomen_** Dear gods **_suddenly giggles as Reno kisses said abdomen_**  
Elena says: **_blinks and looks at stomach_** I hope our kid ends up like you, Ru.  
Rude says: whatever's fine with me **_kisses cheek_** I'll love you both anyway  
Reno says: squee! Adorable!  
Rude says: What? it's true  
Rufus says: As astounding as this sounds, I'd like our child to be like you, Ren-chan.  
Reno says: **_blushes_**  
Elena says: oh god...if ours ends up like Rude...and yours ends up like Red...it's gonna be history repeating itself all over again.  
Reno says: probably  
Elena says: scary.  
Rufus says: I will be teaching our child how to shoot though.  
Rude says: mine might be getting to learn hand to hand  
Elena says: and shoot!  
Rude says: and may be getting the old spiked knuckles.  
Reno says: and shades?  
Elena says: oh yeah  
Reno says: next I'll be hearin' about ponytails an tats  
Elena says: **_laughs_**  
Rufus says: Our child will not be tattooed until they're old enough to get them by themselves  
Elena says: ohh. stopped you there Reno  
Reno says: yeah, but the thing is, different towns have different age limits  
Elena says: touche  
Rufus says: What is the youngest?  
Reno says: about . . . 12?  
Elena says: **_grins_** LOL  
Reno says: that's when I got mine  
Elena says: laughs while you two are arguing over tats and ponytails, Me and Rude are gonna go sleep. nights  
Rufus says: ah, goodnight then  
_**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx****XxXxXxXx**_  
Rude says: Hey! Decide if the kids getting tats yet?  
Reno says: Only when they're old enough to go on their own and stuff . . . but I'm free ta tell them where they can go when they're 12  
Rude says: **_chuckles _**'lena has firmly decided the first thing shes getting ours is a pair of sunglasses.  
Reno says: I ain't surprised  
Rude says: surprisingly...neither am I  
Reno says: **_gets hit in the head by a parenting book_** Ow. Mood swing . . .  
Elena says: Whats wrong this time?  
Reno says: I dunno . . . I think it's the fact that he's starting to show a little teeny bit  
Elena says: ah...blame it on eating and stress for anyone who wants to know  
Reno says: that makes a lot more sense to me  
Elena says: course it does. you just got lobbed in the head with a parenting book  
Reno says: yeah yeah. at least it wasn't the hardcover  
Elena says: they still hurt. even ask Rude  
Reno says: OW! **_clutches head_**  
Elena says: what happened this time?  
Rufus says: What was that about the hardcover, Reno?  
Reno says:**_ whimpers_**  
Elena says:**_ sighs_** hows the tea working for you, sir?  
Rufus says: that works well, but I'm still annoyed that I'm going through this  
Elena says: you both decided to got through with this  
Rufus says: I know . . . **_sighs_** mood swings are highly annoying, you know that?  
Elena says: yes. I would know. you forget, I'm female  
Rufus says: as if I weren't moody enough  
Elena says: as if any of us were moody enough  
Rufus says: although with my typical moodiness levels, I believe the mood swings would have worked better for Reno  
Elena says: yeah...but the baby wouldn't be as safe  
Rufus says: yes, I know. I suppose it is the price to pay  
Elena says: yeah...but its worth it  
Rufus says: I suppose.  
Elena says: you'll get used to it. trust me  
Rufus says: Should I as a male truly get used to it?  
Elena says: yes  
Rufus says: does this mean you believe we should not stop at one?  
Elena says: that's your problem  
Elena says: that's something you talk with Reno about  
Rufus says: perhaps by the time we decide on another, it would be safe for him to deal with this  
Elena says: who knows...it might just be safer to have one kid..with the kinda job this is...and yours.  
Rufus says: right  
Elena says: me and Rude aren't gonna have more than one either probably  
Rufus says: ah well, it will be discussed later  
Elena says: yeah  
Rufus says: We already have a name for it, no matter the gender  
Elena says: what is it?  
Rufus says: Runo. a combination of both of our names  
Elena says: I like it. we have a name for both genders.  
Reno says: oh?  
Elena says: Elidae if a boy and Merelin if a girl  
Rufus says: nice names  
Elena says: I like them  
Elena says: what are you gonna do with the kid when its older? get it into Turks? take over the company?  
Rufus says: It depends on the child, I won't force it into anything it doesn't want to do  
Elena says: that's good  
Rufus says: I was forced into things I did not want to do, so I will not do so to my child  
Elena says: **_shivers_** I don't like your father. never have never will  
Rufus says: noone did, I believe. By the way, where did you get that tea?  
Elena says: oh. a friend in edge gave me the recipe  
Rufus says: would I know them?  
Elena says: I don't know  
Elena says: I dont think you do  
Rufus says: I see. how did you meet her?  
Elena says: ...through AVALANCHE  
Rufus says: Oh really? and how long have you been friends with them?  
Elena says: I've been friends with some of the members since I was a kid  
Rufus says: Really. What is her name? I'm assuming it's a girl, since you had never negated that  
Elena says: oh. her name is Raella  
Reno says: **_waves hand in front of wifey's face_** the hell?  
Elena says: what? what happened?  
Reno says: looks like shock or somethin  
Elena says: all i did was tell him the name of my friend in Edge  
Reno says: hmmm, wonder why he's gone into shock then . . .lemme see if I can shock him outta it  
Elena says: have fun?  
Rufus says: What . . . what does your friend look like, Elena?  
Elena says: oh! shes about your height and has pale blonde hair up in a ponytail and ice-blue eyes. looks like you sir. she doesnt act like you at all sir  
Rufus says: She wouldn't . . . if she's . . .  
Reno says:**_ watches Ruffie wander off_** what the fuck? an I thought he was actin funny before  
Elena says: ...what did I do?  
Reno says: I dunno, but he's not mad or nothin  
Elena says: just...out of it?  
Reno says: yeah, like he's remembering something  
Elena says: ..weird.  
Reno says: yeah, you're tellin' me  
Elena says: wonder why Raella would make him remember something tho  
Reno says: I dunno, lemme ask  
Elena says: kay.  
Reno says: . . . he's got a twin sister named Raella . . .  
Elena says: WHAT!  
Elena says: WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME ANY OF THIS!  
Elena says: I'M CALLING HER RIGHT NOW DAMMIT!  
Reno says: yeah . . . he says she got thrown out when she was eleven, cuz she was gay . . .  
Elena says: panting I...knew...that  
Elena says: DAMMIT!  
Reno says: what?  
Rude says: shes currently screaming at someone on her cell...whats going on?  
Reno says: one of her friends through Cloud's group might be Ruffie's twin sister  
Rude says: oh...wow.  
Reno says: yeah, bossman went inta shock when she mentioned the name  
Rude says: yeaahhh...she is currently...twitching...in anger as shes talking to her  
Reno says: yikes  
Rude says: yeeah...that's why I'm over here...in the far corner of the room.  
Reno says: I don't blame ya  
Rude says: yeaaahh...hows bossman.  
Reno says: he's still wandering around, muttering stuff about his sister  
Elena says: **_moves Rude aside_** you can tell him that shes going 'wtf' on the fact that he remembers her  
Reno says: his reply was "And why the hell wouldn't I, Rae"  
Elena says: **_listens to phone_** she said "Because I thought Daddeh woulda madeja forget about me, Ruf"  
Elena (Raella) says: "brainwashed like a alien abduction"  
Rufus says: **_shoos Reno to the side_** Rae, you know me better than that. How could I forget my own sister? He may have tried, but there was nothing that would have worked.  
Elena (Raella) says: "Still...he had that pedo-rapist Hojo on his side...ewwww"  
Rufus says: I'm well aware . . . but Hojo works for me now, and knows better than to do anything uncalled for. Speaking of, I've recently been utilizing his expertise  
Elena says: she says "oh! reall..." wtf...she just opened my door...**_wide eyes_**  
Raella says: Scooch  
Elena says:**_ moves_**  
Raella says: Hey big bro!  
Rufus says: Hello Rae. Long time, wouldn't you say?  
Raella says: no fucking shit  
Elena says:**_ blank stare_**  
Rufus says: **_laughs at Reno's comments_** My fiancee thinks you act like him  
Raella says: Whats the guy's name?  
Rufus says: His name is Reno. Rather difficult to avoid  
Raella says: WHAT?! THAT LITTLE BASTARD!  
Rufus says: That 'little bastard' is going to be your brother-in-law soon, and one of the fathers of your niece or nephew  
Elena says: she fell out of the chair...she like a combo of you and Reno.  
Elena says: shes twitching  
Rufus says: **_laughs_** I thought that would be an interesting shock to her. Tell her I'm the one carrying, while she's still twitching  
Raella says: seriously!  
Rufus says: Yes, seriously  
Raella says: ...**_big-ass grin_** Congrats, Ruf!  
Rufus says: **_rolls eyes_** yes, although it is hardly enjoyable  
Raella says: I is sorry, bro. LOL you shoulda seen me when I heard 'Laney was pregnant  
Rufus says: Oh really?  
Raella says: yeah...I stormed in here and wouldn't let her go till I lectured her and Rudey enough  
Rufus says: Then I should be glad you're not doing the same to me  
Raella says: watch me  
Rufus says: How do plan to lecture me, Rae? online?  
Raella says: ...I know where your personal flat is...Elena told me  
Rufus says: Then why are you still down there?  
Raella says: because I'm lazy  
Rufus says: How many years has it been? Get up here  
Raella says: never!  
Rufus says: Dammit Rae . . .  
Reno says: Mood swing! hit the deck!  
Raella says: **_sticks out tongue_** stop being emo or I'll reconsider going up there in a few  
Reno says: the computer is being glared at, jus so ya know  
Raella says: I care...why?  
Raella says: and where did you go anyway, Red? thought you got your ass killed  
Reno says: I got called back on a meeting **_grins_**  
Raella says:**_ rolls eyes_** horn-dog  
Reno says: yeah, and?  
Raella says: good god.  
Reno says: what'cha gonna do 'bout it . . . sis?  
Raella says: I will beat your ass  
Reno says: if ya can  
Raella says: I will beat yo' ass with one of mah flamin' switchblades!  
Reno says: your switchblades fuck each other?  
Raella says: mayyybe  
Raella says: wouldn't you like to know  
Reno says: if they ain't bossman, I ain't interested in what or who fucks what  
Raella says: then don't ask  
Reno says: then don't say the shit that can be taken that way  
Raella says: well. don't make me say those things  
Reno says: did I point my EMR to your head? nope. I didn't make ya do shit  
Raella says: no. but you have my big brother hostage  
Reno says: Hostage? **_calls over shoulder to Ruffie_** Do I got you hostage?  
Rufus says: More like I have you hostage, Reno  
Raella says: Still!  
Raella says: MY big brother!  
Reno says: My wifey!  
Raella says: Ive known him longer  
Reno says: I know things that I bet you don't  
Elena says: Both of you!! continue this later! we're coming up to your floor  
Raella says: yes...ma'am  
Reno says: 'kay 'Laney  
**UP ON 7th FLOOR**  
Raella says:**_ knocks on door_**  
Reno says: 's unlocked, 'Laney  
Rufus says: Why is it unlocked?  
Raella says: Who the fuck said I was 'Lena?!  
Reno says: because we knew they were comin up  
Raella says: I ain't pregnant!  
Raella says: **_opens door_**  
Reno says: Forcea habit, Sis  
Raella says: **_smacks head_** your not gonna drop it, are you?  
Rufus says: **_strides over and hugs Rae_**  
Reno says: Nope  
**_Elena and Rude follow her in_**  
Raella says: Ruf? **_puts arms around him_**  
Rufus says: it's been too long. I missed you, you know.  
Reno says: **_has silly grin on face_**  
Raella says: **_smiles_** Missed you too, kitty  
Rufus says: I hate father for what he did to you. I could forget anything else, but . . .  
Raella says: **_runs hand through his hair_** it's ok. I'm fine now, see?  
Rufus says: yeah . . . yeah you are. been too long. couldn't stand it  
Raella says: **_falls on her knees with him and hugs him tighter_** yeah...it was hard...but it's ok now..Dad aint here...he can't do anything anymore...**_tears build up at the corner of her eyes as her shoulder gets a little more wet_**  
Reno says: **_blinks a little, wipes his sleeve across his face_** wow . . . this is somethin', ain't it 'Laney?  
Elena says: **_smiles and leans into Rude_** yeah.  
Rufus says: even on top of the plate, I missed the Starshine . . . it just wasn't right without you  
Raella says: yeah...and it was no fun without my kitty around to keep me smiling  
Rufus says: never is, is it? don't go away again, I miss you too much  
Raella says: your not alone anymore, Rufus...I'm here now...I'm not gonna go away again...it hurts too much to be alone  
Rufus says: yes, it does. and now we don't have to worry about him, we can do what we want  
Raella says: Yeah...we can do what we want...not like then.  
Rufus says: no, not then. I hated then. we didn't need that  
Raella says: no...he thought we did though...but.  
Rufus says: he didn't know us. he didn't know at all  
Raella says: he never took the time...I know...I know.  
Rufus says: he didn't think we were worth it. he wasn't worth us  
Raella says: yeah...and we weren't worth mom either.  
Rufus says: no, we weren't. but we can be better now.  
Raella says: I...hope we can...takes a shaky breath  
Rufus says: we can, I know we can. I've had some help**_ turns and smiles at Reno_**  
Raella says: **_smiles and closes eyes_** yeah **_opens eyes_** I'm glad for you  
Rufus says: but it's even better now, now that we've found each other again  
Raella says: **_grins at Rufus_** you just cant live without me, can you?  
Rufus says: no more than I could live without my Neko-kun  
Raella says:**_ laughs lightly_** so you twisted the name I gave you into a nickname for Reno.  
Rufus says: I told you I never forgot you  
Raella says: Yeah. I was sure you would tho  
Rufus says: why? even if that bastard told me it was my fault you left, I could never forget you  
Raella says: what?! He told me...it was my fault you were failing as the heir...and I needed to be gone...and it was best for you.  
Rufus says: if anything, it was his fault, and I think I did pretty good. He told you that? You were the only reason I was doing as well as I did  
Raella says: y-yeah...he did...he also told me...**_takes a deep breath_** that it should've been me who was shot that day...and it was my fault mom took my place and got killed.  
Rufus says: **_blinks twice, and his expression goes hard as ice_** I will scoop him right back out of the lifestream and kill him over and over for that. You are NOT at fault, he is.  
Raella says: but...if mom hadn't.  
Reno says: **_takes a couple of steps back_** ok . . . this scares me worse than when I hid under the bed . . .  
Elena says: **_Hides behind Rude_** no...shit  
Rufus says: I. do. not. care. You are NOT at fault, Raella. He never once had any right to kill mom, and to turn it on you is just wrong. There has got to be a way to pull him out of there, and I will find it.  
Raella says: Rufus! calm down!...he's gone...and we can't do anything about it now.  
Rufus says: **_sighs_** you're right . . . I'm sorry Rae, I shouldn't have let him get to me like that still. It just . . . I can't believe he'd do that to you  
Rufus says: wait, yes I can  
Raella says: **_blinks_** 'bout to say...he's done stuff just as bad as that...you know that.  
Rufus says: yes, I know. little did he know that what he did to keep me straight would have the opposite effect  
Raella says: ...**_snickers_** yeah...but it did the opposite on me too, just in a different way  
Rufus says: yeah, rather ironic, isn't it?  
Raella says: ...very.  
Raella says: still...I'm still surprised he didn't tell you about that to make you hate me.  
Rufus says: I tuned it all out. He might have tried  
Raella says: Heh...lucky you  
Rufus says: I think he liked the coldness he thought I had when I was just ignoring him  
Rufus says: I don't really care what he liked though  
Raella says: heh...that's my big brother  
Rufus says: How about we get off this floor? I imagine we look pretty silly down here **_stands up and offers a hand to Rae_**  
Raella says: **_grabs hand and stands_** eh. we can do what we want. Daddeh ain't here  
Rufus says: I know, but I have chairs that're tons more comfortable than the floor. Besides, my butt was falling asleep.  
Raella says: that's your problem  
Rufus says: It never does that other times . . . **_grins_**  
Raella says:**_ raises eyebrow _**I can guess.  
Rufus says: **_grins again, then leaps into Reno's arms_**  
Reno says: Whoa! ok then . . .  
Raella says: **_smacks forehead_**  
Raella says: good god..**_smiles_**  
Raella says: **_Cell rings_** Shit! uhh...**_picks up_** hey babe!  
Rufus says:**_ laughs_** I finally feel free again! stupid fathers suck, but he's gone now, and Rae's back so everything's good now Reno says:**_ tries to keep from laughing_**  
Raella says:**_ looks at Rufus (mouths)_** SAVE ME  
Rufus says: **_swings out of Reno's arms and snatches Rae's phone _**Who is this and what do you want with my sister?  
Yuffie says: Sup, Rufus!  
Yuffie says: it's Yuffie  
Yuffie says: and I'm wonder where the fuck she's been! shes been gone all afternoon!  
Rufus says: . . . She's visiting me, after over a decade of not seeing each other  
Yuffie says: ...finally  
Yuffie says: she got the guts to go see you! awesome! finally!  
Rufus says: guts? why would she need those to see me?  
Raella says: **_picks phone out of Rufus' hand_** I will tell you after I finish this phone call brother-dear  
Raella says: yea...I'll be back in a while...yeah...uh-huh...love you too...bye  
Rufus says: I see . . . so Yuffie is your girlfriend then?  
Raella says: Yeah. what of it?  
Rufus says: **_starts laughing_** we really are twins . . . we love spazzy, hyperactive people  
Raella says: **_shakes head _**no wonder dad hated us always being together...we too much alike...even for twins  
Rufus says: identical almost to the last detail  
Reno says: **_leans over and whispers in Rufus' ear_** even that birthmark I like so much?  
Raella says: **_grins_** except for the fact that I have boobs  
Rufus says: yeah, there is that. Although depending on the extent that Hojo went to . . .  
Raella says: **_snickers_** welcome to womanhood, Kitty  
Rufus says: at least you're not likely to go through it. It's funny how I'm the one pregnant, but you're the female  
Raella says: **shrugs** I'm also Lesbian  
Raella says: I don't like dicks. you do  
Rufus says: Correction, I like one dick.  
Reno says: **_headpalms_** wifey . . .  
Raella says: still. you go for guys. always have. AKA. you like cock. I like something totally different  
Elena says: **_cracks up_**  
Rufus says: **_wraps arm around Reno and takes firm hold of his butt _**what's wrong Ren-kun? I do only like one.  
Reno says: **_turns bright red_**  
Raella says: **_smirks at Reno and whispers_** go, big bro  
Reno says: **_blushes harder_**  
Rufus says: **_grins_**  
Raella says: **_tilts head to the side_** which part is face and which is hair?  
Rufus says: Oh, didn't you know? this is my favorite pasttime with clothing on. I'm still finding more shades of red that Reno can change into.  
Raella says: awesome. Elena told me about the 'three red turks thing'  
Elena says: Hey!  
Rude says: **_fixes sunglasses_**  
Rufus says: oh yes, I have yet to get to Tseng, but it was rather fun back before they got together . . . especially with some of the tidbits I'd hear about what they wanted to do to each other  
Raella says:**_ barks out a laugh_** oh geeze...I thought what she used to tell me was bad!  
Rufus says: Oh yes, I can only wonder if some of the more . . . outrageous fantasies have been discussed between them **_grins_**  
Raella says: Hmm...I'm under a confidentiality promise on that one. sorry  
Rufus says: That's alright. If I really wanted to know, I could get the camera fixed  
Raella says: oh...that's sick, Ruf **_laughs_**  
Rufus says: I have to keep an eye on them, make sure they're not doing anything I wouldn't.  
Rufus says: . . . which isn't much  
Raella says: 'bout to say **_muttering and flopping over the side of a huge chair_**  
Reno says: yeah, and you call _me_ a horndog . . . 'least I didn't come with the fetishes I picked up  
Raella says: **_peeks over side of chair_** never said my brother wasn't one  
Reno says: yeah, and got some kinky ideas, serious. Although . . . **_grins and blushes_**  
Rufus says: What are you thinking Reno?  
Raella says: I don't think I wanna know  
Reno says: Later, wifey . . . trust me  
Raella says: **_is thinking_** you know.  
Reno and Rufus say: what?  
Raella says: hmmm...Ruf? where's your closet? I wanna try something we used to do and see if it still works  
Reno says: which one ya want? **_laughs_**  
Rufus says:**_ looks sideways at Reno_** in the bedroom  
Raella says: Sorry Reno, already outta that one  
Raella says: thanks bro  
Raella says: **_leaves_**  
Reno says: What's she doin', wifey?  
Elena says: Thats what I'm wondering  
Rufus says: She's . . . not putting me in a skirt again. That's what she's doing  
Rude says: .  
Raella says: from the bedroom WATCH ME  
Rufus says: I will not wear it!  
Raella says: YES YOU WILL  
Reno says: **_staring straight ahead, nose bleeding_** in . . . a . . . skirt . . ?  
Rufus says: **_turns to look at Reno slowly_** No, Reno. I disliked it then, I will not be happy with it now  
Raella says: **_comes out in one of Rufus' suits, (game version) with hair in a low ponytail_**  
Raella says: how do I look?  
Reno says: **_blinking rapidly, stutters some, faints_**  
Rufus says: You just had to do that to Reno, didn't you?  
Raella says: maaayyyybbeeee  
Rufus says: oh well, then he won't see me in a skirt, if you even manage to get one on me now  
Raella says:**_ grins evilly_**  
Reno says: **_Jerks back into sitting position _**Skirt?  
Rufus says: I will never live that down now  
Raella says:**_ pats Reno on head_** yes...I will be getting your wifey into a skirt. when one of us has an idea in their heads. we don't let it go till it's seen through  
Rufus says: **_sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose_**  
Reno says: Yes, I've noticed. **_grins hugely_**  
Raellla says: Wanna help me?  
Reno says: **_grins even wider and jumps to his feet_**  
Rufus says: Oh gods, I should have never intro -**_ is dragged into bedroom_**  
Rayella says: **_blinks and grins_** mission accomplished  
Elena says:**_ rolls eyes_** should get outta here**_ laughs_** gotta get you home to Yuff  
Raella says: **_grins_** I doubt bro won't notice the missing suit for a while  
Rude says:**_ pushes up sunglasses _**lets go  
**_Rude, Elena, and Raella leave the room  
_**

* * *

**A/N - **Teabagging . . . I know what I'm referring to, and it is a sexual act. If you don't know, I won't tell you. Go look it up online.


End file.
